


Stay With Me

by VincentMeoblinn



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:44:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3418088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VincentMeoblinn/pseuds/VincentMeoblinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hotch finds Reid in a state of shock in the BAU, clearly a victim of violence. The team scrambles to find his rapist while Hotch struggles with guilt and discomfort over Reid's clinginess and sudden infatuation.</p><p>Spin off of my Catatonia fic, this is the one with a happy ending, but it doesn't start happy. Rating is for mentions of past rape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hotch walked into the BAU office and flicked on the lights. He was always the first in each morning, dropping a tired Jack off at Jessica’s so she could get him on the bus each morning. This morning, he turned to face the normally empty office and was immediately struck by the sight of Reid sitting slouched down at his desk. Alarmed that he’d been sleeping in the dark, and positive that he’d left the office the night before, Hotch headed over to him.

“Reid?”

No response.

“Reid, what…” Hotch’s voice caught in his throat. Reid’s face was swollen, bruises and blood sullying his normally handsome figure. Now that Hotch was closer he could see that blood also stained his tangled hair.

Hotch pulled out his gun, checking Reid’s pulse even as his eyes scan the room, and quickly moved about to clear the rooms, pulling out his cell phone to call their situation in. There were other FBI agents in the building already and he quickly found them slipping in, their gear distinguishing them from an enemy threat. His offices were cleared and then one agent remained with Hotch while the rest went to secure the building. He hears about others having arrived at that point, but he’s too caught up on dealing with Reid.

“Reid,” Hotch says softly, “Spencer, talk to me. The ambulance is probably here by now and they’re going to take you to the hospital.”

Reid gave him a lost sort of look and licked his lips, opening his mouth to take a shuddering breath. Hotch waits, but his eyes drop and his mouth falls shut with a sigh.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened,” Hotch said, “That can wait. Just let me know you’re hear with me.”

“I…” Reid started, glancing up at him, “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Wake me up?” Hotch asked in confusion.

Garcia was shuffled in by Strauss and told to pull up the cameras. She glanced over but Strauss wouldn’t let her detour to see Reid, besides at that point the medics were being allowed entry. The ambulance crew came in, hurrying to Reid’s side and asking Hotch to step back. The reaction was instantaneous. Reid shouted as they descended on them and began to fight back in a panic. Hotch immediately regretted not securing his firearm as they both scrambled for it, but Hotch got there first and gently wrestle the gun from his hand. He passed it back to Morgan who had run over to try and help after pushing his way past Strauss. Strauss was pale and terrified.

“It’s okay, Pretty Boy,” Morgan said softly as he quickly secured the gun, “We got you.”

Reid was shaking and as Hotch tried to calm him he slid out of his chair and attempted to crawl beneath his desk.

“Arrest them!” Strauss shouted, waving at the medics, “One of them must have done this!”

“Not likely,” Morgan replied, “Reid’s reacting as a victim, not an accuser. He’s terrified of being touched. Most likely he’s been raped since it’s been too short a time since he was last seen to have been a long-term abuse situation.”

Garcia made her way out into the room and stared at Reid with tears in her eyes, “He’s been here since three in the morning. He walked in injured. It didn’t happen here.”

“He said he didn’t want to wake me,” Hotch stated, “Spencer come on out. It’s okay. They’re just techs. They’re going to take you to the hospital-“

“Where they’ll stick their fingers in my ass! No! I’m not going! I don’t consent to an examination!”

“A rape kit will help-“ Hotch started.

“NO!” Reid stuck one hand out and shook his finger at Hotch like a naughty child, “No, I came to _you_ for help! If I wanted doctors I’d have gone there! You just… go find evidence somewhere else!”

“At least let them check you for injury,” Hotch pleaded.

“My apartment. The keys are in my bag. The name he gave me was Clarence.”

“That’s a good start,” Hotch replied, “Thank you, Reid.”

Hotch reached down under the desk, glancing to make sure of what he was reaching for, and found Reid’s hand.

“I’ll go with you. I’ll stay the whole time. I won’t let them do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I just want you safe. If you have a concussion or are bleeding internally they can help you there, that’s something I can’t do.”

Reid was silent, gripping his fingers until they went numb. Finally he started to ease out from under the desk and Hotch helped him stand. He leaned on him heavily, clearly injured and exhausted. They got him to the geurney and Hotch held his hand as he shook through the cursory examination. Once they were sure he was movable they stuck an IV in him, strapped him down, and started to roll him out the door with Hotch walking quickly beside him. They passed the team in the hallway outside the BAU doors. JJ was in tears with Morgan standing at her side with an arm around her. Garcia joined him since her part of the job was complete, and after glancing pityingly at Reid she buried her face in Morgan’s shoulder.

“We’re gonna catch this guy, Reid,” Morgan announced.

“We’ll see you at the hospital,” JJ told him tearfully.

Prentiss gave him a supportive nod.

Reid gripped Hotch’s hand and whimpered miserably as the tears finally started to flow, leaving Hotch to comfort him as best he could as the ambulance sped towards the nearest hospital with it’s weary passengers.


	2. Chapter 2

Reid was nearly unconscious with several kinds of exhaustion by the time they reached the hospital. He gave Hotch a bleary eyed look as they headed into the ER and the nurses asked Reid if he could move. He didn’t respond so they placed him in the hospital bed manually. His eyes were fluttering closed as Hotch stood by his side, taking his hand again and waiting for the staff to finish looking him over. He had gone uncommunicative again and Hotch expressed concern that he was having some sort of episode and they decided to push him straight to an MRI and CAT scan after checking him for external wounds. He sicked up some of the mixture to give him to drink, but no blood came up with it so they hurried ahead.

Reid had been laying there silently, just letting them examine him and poke at his sides, when he went off again. He used Hotch’s body to lever himself out of the bed, practically crawling over him. They toppled to the ground and Hotch did his best to stop Reid’s fall without cracking his own head against the floor. Reid scrambled over him and crawled beneath a roll-away table.

Hotch managed to get to him before he knocked it over on himself.

“Spencer. Spencer. Shhhh,” Hotch soothed, one hand keeping the table steady while the other lowly reached in to touch his cheek. A gentle touch just to sooth him, remind him he was among friends, that the hands near him were kind. Reid whimpered and scooted forward, pressing his face into Hotch’s shoulder.

“I’m not pathetic,” Reid whined.

“I know. No one said you were. I certainly don’t think so,” Hotch said softly, “If you tell me what made you run I can tell them not to do it again.”

“She touched my thigh. I don’t want that.”

“Okay. I need to know if you’re injured anywhere beneath your waist.”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me, Reid.”

“It’s just… I don’t want them _touching_ me.”

“I know, but we have to, Spencer. What if I hold your hands, talk to you, look you in the eye the whole time?”

Reid was silent for a moment, then nodded miserably, “Yeah. Okay. Just… stay with me?”

“Absolutely.”

Reid bent over the bed and they carefully examined him, taking swabs while Hotch held Reid’s hands and talked to him at a speed more suited for the doctor than the agent.

“Remember that case we had in… ah… Idaho. Yeah, what were the details again? I’ve forgotten.”

“Not talking,” Reid grumbled.

“Okay. I will. Our first case together. I was surprised that you were so young, but they had warned me inside and out that I was to treat you like a competent agent. _Then_ I’d been warned that you had passed our field training with an exception. Like… _all_ of our field training. You were a walking talking brain and I was _furious._ I felt like they’d handed me a teenager with a superiority complex who had been handfed all the way through life. Then I met you. You were just as skinny and geeky as I’d expected, but you had this gleam in your eye and I thought… okay. Give him a chance. Let him prove himself or fail trying.”

“My eyes?” Reid asked, glancing up at Hotch.

“We went out in the field that day and you weren’t carrying a gun, but you were absolutely solid. You had ideas that hadn’t even touched my subconscious and within an hour I _hated_ you. Half an hour after that I loved you. I knew I was taking you with me wherever I went, even if it meant back to being a prosecutor.”

“We’re all done here,” The doctor stated, “Dr. Reid go ahead and get comfortable. We’ll take you in for scans shortly.”

Reid climbed onto the table, still not relinquishing Hotch’s hands. Instead, Hotch helped pull him up. Reid sat slightly sideways, his bottom sore from what he’d gone through in the last several hours.

“Keep talking,” Reid replied.

“I couldn’t believe you were human. I was in awe of you. I thought that together we could make a real difference in the world. I was thinking of you as a weapon, not of brawn but of brains. I learned quickly that we weren’t nearly as immortal and powerful as I’d originally thought, but then again I was younger then too. Sometimes I look around me and don’t see any good in the world, but then I think of you and how much you have to remember. I think of how you have to be this walking computer for me, but you still smile and read and go to comic comb-“

“Comic-con.”

“Yeah, that,” Hotch smirked, “You’re alive and young and everything I’m fighting for. You’re what I want for Jack someday. For Henry. A future where the mind is more important than the body, where bright young men and women can walk the streets with the kind of carefree that you had when we first met. I doubt we’ll make it in my lifetime, in fact I doubt we ever will knowing what I do now about psychology, but I know for a fact we’re making a difference every day whenever I see you reach a conclusion and light up the way you do.”

“Hotch,” Reid struggled out, “I don’t know if I can do that anymore.”

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Hotch replied.

“What does?” Reid asked, his voice hopeless.

“You,” Hotch replied, “You matter right now.”

Reid fell silent again after that, his eyes drifting closed but they fluttered awake every time someone neared the room. Hotch held one hand and occasionally touched his cheek carefully. Reid seemed soothed so Hotch continued it until the young man was taken in for his scan. He wasn’t allowed to remain and didn’t see them sedate Reid so that they could finish the scans when he had another panic attack.


	3. Chapter 3

Morgan and Prentiss returned from looking through Reid’s apartment with a CSI team. They had rather dark looks on their faces as they walked in and Hotch was immediately wary. JJ and Rossi were hot on their heels and joined with a worried look on their faces and JJ immediately stepped forward to take the hand Hotch wasn’t holding.

“What happened?” Hotch asked Morgan and Prentiss.

“We have to ask Reid a few questions,” Morgan replied, “You okay with that, Pretty Boy?”

Reid shrugged slightly.

“He’s a bit out of it,” Hotch replied, “He keeps sort of… zoning out. There’s no sign of brain trauma so they don’t know why. We’re waiting for more tests to be complete.”

“Spencer,” Prentiss stepped closer and took his hand, “Sweetie, why are your windows nailed shut?”

“And why are there five locks on your doors?”

“Don’t trust alarms,” Reid replied with a shrug, “I use locks instead.”

“Has this Clarence guy been after you before this?”

Reid winced and shook his head, “No. Don’t you have locks on your doors and windows?”

“Yeah, but you kinda have me topped on the windows being nailed shut and owning six different concussion hammers in case you need to escape out them,” Morgan frowned.

“Planning ahead,” Reid shrugged, “I have a second go bag packed at all times too. Doesn’t mean I’m running away.”

“I think what they’re concerned about is that you may be becoming paranoid,” Hotch replied, “The job does get to us eventually…”

“Elle. Hotch. Maeve. Kassmeyer. I also wear a rape whistle at all times. Fat lot of good it did me.”

Hotchner nodded, “Fair enough.”

“Elle was before me?” Prentiss asked Morgan.

“Yeah,” Morgan nodded, “She nearly died in her own home, just like Hotch.”

“Okay, so not paranoid than. Just precautions. Got it,” Prentiss nodded.

“We saw what he did,” Morgan stated, “We need to know where you met him so we can track him down. Unless you have a last name?”

“I’m not even sure Clarence is a real first name now,” Reid replied, “He stole my _books_.”

“Yeah, we saw,” Prentiss nodded, “All first editions, right? Morgan and I will be checking pawn shops later and Garcia is monitoring the net. If you could write down what they were it would be a huge help.”

“I have them insured,” Reid replied, reaching for a pen, “But I’d still like them back.”

Hotch found him some paper and Reid started writing, his hand trembling so much that he just gave up and recited them to Hotch.

Morgan shifted for a moment and then tried again, “Reid, I really need you to go over the night with me.”

“Just up to my door, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay,” Reid took a deep breath and closed his eyes, “I met Clarence in a coffee shop three months ago. Mona’s Café. He was shouting at his computer and asked me for help. I told him I couldn’t help and he got angry. He said, ‘You mean _won’t_ help! Look at how you’re dressed! Obviously a geek!’. Of course that pissed me off, so I told him that I’m not that kind of geek and he shouldn’t judge a book by a cover. I went to leave and he chased after me to apologize. He asked me to come back into the café so he could buy me a scone to go with my coffee to show he was sorry. I let him buy me the scone. The next time I saw him he had one of those… paper things? Instead of a computer? Electric paper?”

“Tablets?” Prentiss tried.

“Yeah, that,” Reid nodded, pausing to swallow hard, “He flirted with me and offered to teach me how to use electronics. I avoided him by saying that after last time he probably shouldn’t be making that offer. I thought it was done with, but he asked to buy my coffee. I let him. He asked to join me. I let him. He asked me out. I spilled my coffee all over myself and ran out of the building.”

Morgan snickered and everyone glared at him except Reid, who still had his eyes closed. Morgan apologized and Reid continued.

“I avoided the shop for a few weeks, but hated every other shop, so I eventually went back. He wasn’t there so I kept going back. After a week I saw him and he paid for my coffee without asking. I tried to make the clerk reverse it, but she wouldn’t. He laughed at me and asked me out again. I gave him my phone number in roman numerals and left. He called me twelve seconds after I left. I accused him of cheating and he laughed and said ‘If google is cheating than you’re going to be a very jealous boyfriend’. We went out that Friday.”

“That was, what, two months ago?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Reid rubbed at his eyes.

“So he seemed normal?” Morgan asked, “You went out with him more than once, apparently.”

“Our dates kept being cancelled due to my job, but yeah. We went out several times. At the end of our last date last night he told me it was the third date and that meant he should get a kiss. I told him I disagreed with that social standard an left him at the door to my building. Can I have some water?”

Hotch handed him a cup and Reid sipped at it for a moment, “You need anything else?”

“I don’t want them sedating me again,” Reid stated, “Tell them not to sedate me again.”

“I will,” Hotch replied.

“Tell them _now_ ,” Reid stated, “They made me feel _helpless_ and _violated_ all over again.”

Hotch was on his feet in an instant, “I’ll be right back.”

Hotch stepped out the door and moved towards the nurses station but then moved quickly back and hovered outside the door. Sure enough, Reid had been trying to get him out of the room.

“He did _what_?” Morgan asked.

“He threatened to rape me without a condom if I struggled. He said he was HIV positive. I had to _let_ him.”

“Great,” Morgan snarled, “Now when we finally catch him I’m not going to be able to beat him to a bloody pulp!”

“You could wear boxing gloves,” Prentiss suggested, “I have some in my closet at home. I could keep them in my car.”

“You got two pairs?” JJ asked.

“Why didn’t you want Hotch to hear that?” Morgan asked, “The nurses told me he’s barely left your side. Not even during examinations.”

“I just don’t want him to know I let it happen,” Reid replied, “It’s one thing to be a victim it’s another thing to _make_ yourself one.”

“Oh, sweetie,” JJ soothed, “That is _not_ consent.”

“I know,” Reid replied, “I just don’t want him to know.”

“We’ll try, but it may come up in trial,” Morgan replied, “In fact I can guarantee it will.”

“I know,” Reid replied, “I don’t… I won’t testify.”

“Reid,” Prentiss started carefully, “You know what that means.”

“It means he’ll likely walk, yeah,” Reid replied, “I know.”

“Reid,” Morgan started, but Reid cut him off.

“It’s my decision.”

“Okay,” Morgan nodded, “We’re behind you.”

“Thanks.”

Hotch headed to the nurses station and settled in with a list of medications Reid was _never_ to receive. They flat out refused to agree not to restrain or sedate him. Hotch turned back to the room with a scowl on his face.

“They should have listened to you, I signed the papers for…”

“They’re refusing to agree not to sedate or restrain you,” Hotch snapped, “They say you’re a danger to yourself and others. Why would they say that?”

“I had a panic attack in during the CT scan, but I didn’t _hurt_ anyone,” Reid replied, “I was too terrified.”

“Look, let’s stay until we get your results. Once we know you’re safe to leave we’ll check you out,” Hotch replied.

Reid’s face paled, “I can’t go home.”

“You can stay with one of us,” Hotch replied, “Morgan, go back to Reid’s place and get him some clothes and such.”

“Books,” Reid interjected, “By such, he means books.”

“Which books?” Morgan asked.

“Doesn’t matter. I borrowed them all. The ones he took were mine, the rest are library and university books. A friend of mine from the library drives me around in her truck to get new ones once every two weeks, I return them twenty or so at a time each day as I finish them.”

Morgan mouthed Reid’s last phrase, shaking his head in amazement, “Who you want to stay with, Reid?”

“Hotch?” Reid asked.

“Of course.”

“I won’t hurt Jack,” Reid stated, “The nurses are wrong-“

“I know they are,” Hotch cut him off, “Morgan, go ahead. Rossi and JJ will go take a look at the café and see if they can find some information on Clarence. Prentiss I want you here working a profile with me.”

Everyone separated and Reid sat in silence for the hour or two before the doctor came in to tell him that he wouldn’t need surgery and had no critical injuries. They prescribed him a cream for his anal irritation, a round of antibiotics, and suggested he take post-exposure prophylaxis            in the form of three antiretrovirals since his rapist had told him he was HIV positive. Reid agreed to the PEP’s and the doctor launched into an explanation including symptoms. Hotch kept waiting for Reid to interrupt and recite the information himself, but he never did. As he sat watching him he saw Reid’s lower lip begin to tremble and a moment later he broke down. The doctor continued talking as if his patient weeping were the norm. Perhaps it was. Hotch held his hand gently and waited until the doctor left to give him a gentle hug. Reid wept against his chest for a few minutes before pulling away and asking Hotch to check him out.

XXX

Hotch woke up at the sound of Reid being violently ill for the third night in a row. They’d tried adjusting when he took his medications to at night since they exhausted him to the point of being unable to move, but the result was him vomiting up his post-medication crackers over and again. Luckily he didn’t get sick until the medication had absorbed into his system so he was still getting what he needed to _hopefully_ prevent him from getting HIV. Of course, Clarence had worn a condom but they weren’t 100% effective so it was understandable that he still wanted the antiretrovirals even when they reduced him to _this._

Hotch stood outside the door while Reid sobbed, cleaned up, and took a few steadying breaths. When he emerged he was minty fresh and faking a smile.

“Oh, sorry, did you need the bathroom?”

“Yeah,” Hotch nodded, and Reid stepped aside and headed back for the sofa where he’d taken up residence for the last week.

When Hotch came out he wandered over to check on Reid, brushing his hair aside to see if he was awake. Reid glanced up at him and Hotch smiled softly.

“Maybe it’s time to switch back to mornings, hm? You seemed to keep things down better.”

“I think it had to do with my coffee.”

“I think it had to do with your being upright,” Hotch replied, “But I’m not a doctor so…”

“I wasn’t exactly upright then either,” Reid replied, “It makes me so _tired.”_

“I know,” Hotch nodded, “Do you need anything?”

“To not be a burden to you?”

“You’re not a burden,” Hotch replied, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

“I can barely function. I just sit in a chair at the police station and doodle on maps.”

“Didn’t you always do that?” Hotch teased.

Reid pushed himself upright and reached for a cracker on the side table, “You know what I mean.”

“It’s fine. We know what you’re going through.”

“I’m thinking of stopping them, but if I end up with AIDS I’ll never get to… you know… willingly… with another consenting adult…”

“Well,” Hotch swallowed awkwardly, “I’m sure even if you _should_ be diagnosed with… not that I think you should stop taking the medicine… uh, that is… people do continue to have active… lives…”

“Thanks, but you can stop squirming uncomfortably in an attempt to reassure me now,” Reid smirked.

“Thank you, I’d like that,” Hotch chuckled, “Tea?”

“Sure.”

Hotch came over and sat down on a chair, handing Reid his tea. They both took slow sips and Reid stared miserably down into his cup.

“Three more weeks.”

“Mm-hm.”

“Then three more months until I’m cleared or diagnosed.”

“It’s probably better if you don’t pay attention to the time.”

“I know,” Reid sighed, “Do you really think you’d still…”

“Still what?” Hotch asked, staring at Reid’s blush in confusion.

“Um, nothing,” Reid looked down, “I’m really tired. I think this helped. I’m gonna…”

“Sure,” Hotch stood up, “Goodnight.”

“Night.”


	4. Chapter 4

A/N TAG CHANGE WARNING: I wasn't originally going to have sex in this, but it looks like my muse is strapping on her gear and going there so... yeah. Tag update. Also ALL THE ANGST. M'kay. Bye. 

 

Reid hadn’t gotten a new apartment the way Hotch had expected. Instead once the agonizing treatment was over he became heavily productive in the Hotchner residence. He borrowed cookbooks and read through over a dozen in a day. He did the shopping, helped Jack with his homework, and generally did anything and everything Hotch could have ever wanted before he could ask. He was clearly going out of his way to make the man happy, but Hotch couldn’t seem to reassure him that it wasn’t necessary. Eventually it became so _pleasant_ that he stopped trying to stop him entirely and began just soaking up the time he now had with his son and to relax after Jack was in bed.

The fourth month passed and Reid went in for blood tests. He came home and threw up his dinner out of sheer nerves. Hotch ordered him to take a night off and spent it pampering _him_ for a change. He and Jack made Reid a second, lighter dinner and had him prop up his feet. They wrapped up in blankets and stayed up late watching movies while snuggled on the couch. Hotch was surprised at Reid snuggling into his side but figured if the young man wanted such a thing he would allow it. He slipped his arm around Reid’s shoulders and if he nuzzled his neck a bit after Jack fell asleep on his side Hotch was content to ignore it. Reid needed affection after what he’d been through, and that was more than understandable.

“Want me to put Jack to bed?” Reid asked.

“Don’t you dare,” Hotch whispered back, turning his face and narrowly avoiding having his lips collide with Reid’s, “I love putting him to bed and _you_ are relaxing.”

Hotch picked Jack up- no small task at his age- and carried him into his bedroom. He tucked the boy in and pressed a kiss to his forehead, promising himself that he’d make Jack brush extra long tomorrow morning. Then he shut out the light and headed into the living room to clean up before bed. Reid was sitting on the couch staring into a glass of wine he’d been nursing and he looked up at Hotch with the air of someone who needed to say something important.

“Go ahead,” Hotch smiled, “I can tell you’ve got something on your mind.”

“There’s one way I’ll be able to relax tonight, but I’m hesitant to ask.”

“You know I’ll do anything I can to make you comfortable,” Hotch replied, “I’ve actually never had a guest who didn’t wear out his welcome before. In fact, with how much you’ve spoiled us Jack and I are trying to think of ways to make you stay.”

Reid smiled softly, “I was hoping you were, but the fact of the matter is I don’t want to secure any kind of promise from you until I get my test results back. It just wouldn’t be right.”

Hotch frowned, “It’s not like you sharing an apartment with us would be dangerous, Reid.”

“I know,” Reid stared down at his glass again and then took a fortifying sip, “I meant sharing a bed.”

Hotch blinked. Then glanced over at his own glass in confusion. He hadn’t thought he’d drunk _that_ much…

“I don’t mean sexually,” Reid hastened to say, “I mean, I’d just like to stay close to you. I’m… well, I’m a wreck to be honest, but I don’t expect you to be intimate with me in any way until after the results come back.”

Now Hotch was certain he’d drunk too much. He pinched his arm curiously but it didn’t jolt him awake or restore any amount of sobriety.

“Spencer,” Hotch replied, “I think I’m drunk.”

Reid laughed a bit, “You know? Maybe that’s a good thing,” Reid put his glass down and headed over to Hotch, taking his hand and leading him towards the bedroom, “Come on, Aaron. Let me tuck you in.”

“Okay,” Hotch replied, “But I’m still not sure what’s going on here.”

“Me neither.”

Reid and Hotch climbed into the bed, Reid pressing near as they got comfortable.

“I’ve never done this before,” Reid whispered against Hotch’s neck.

“No?” Hotch asked, “Me neither.”

“With a guy, you mean?”

“Oh, I was referring to the incredibly realistic dream,” Hotch replied, “But sure, the guy part too.”

It was nearly one in the morning so they drifted of fairly quickly, Hotch rolling over and holding Reid tightly as the realization of how much he’d missed sleeping by someone sank in. Just before sleep took him he pressed a kiss to Reid’s forehead, thinking about all the horrors the young man had been through. If he could give him just a small amount of comfort he would readily supply it.

XXX

Hotch woke up the next morning to find Reid spooning him, his arm wedged painfully between his stomach and Hotch’s back. That wasn’t all that was poking Hotchner. Hotch gave him a look of confusion and eased out of the bed, prompting Reid to wake up and roll over.

“Is it morning already?”

“Yes,” Hotch replied, “You’re in my bed.”

“Yeah,” Reid yawned and stretched, “You were drunk so I took advantage of you in a completely non-sexual way.”

“I take it the couch was getting uncomfortable?” Hotch asked, trying to make sense of what was going on.

“No, the lack of _you_ was uncomfortable,” Reid sat up, and smiled at him tiredly, “Look, I meant what I said last night. No promises until my test results are back. I just… I just needed to be held for a once. You know, by someone other than my mother.”

Relief washed through Hotch. That made sense. A _lot_ of sense, “Sure, but next time warn me when I’m still sober. For a minute there I thought I was having some sort of crisis.”

“Crisis?” Reid frowned, “Oh, geez, Aaron. I’d never… I mean without protection… even _with_ it I wouldn’t until after the results are back…”

“Spencer,” Hotch rubbed at his eyes, “It’s too early and I’m too hung over.”

“Right. Coffee. I’ll start a pot.”

“Make it big,” Hotch groaned, and headed for the bathroom to relieve his aching bladder.

He was amused that Reid hadn’t gotten his joke about him having a crisis, but he was glad he’d been some sort of comfort to Reid during the night. His bed had to have been more comfortable than the couch. Hotch accepted the cup of coffee and took a soothing sip of the restorative brew. He took another before attempting to speak.

“If you’re going to be staying with me long term maybe we should consider moving to a bigger apartment,” Hotch proposed.

“Are you sure?” Reid asked, biting at his lip nervously, “That seems like a big commitment very fast.”

“It’s been four months and I’ve never enjoyed having someone live with me more,” Hotch smiled warmly, “Honestly, I don’t _want_ you to move out, and you not having your own space is definitely going to wear on you eventually. This place is barely big enough for Jack and I, but if we pooled our money together we could get someplace pretty nice.”

“I’d like that,” Reid smiled shyly, “Even if… you know… even if it was just…”

Reid couldn’t seem to get out whatever he was trying to say, and his face had turned a brilliant shade of red. He was starting to blink back tears when Jack stormed the kitchen and demanded a glass of juice.

“Woah!” Reid laughed, turning to him with a sense of relief, “Good morning, buddy!”

“Are you sure you need sugar with all that energy you’ve got?” Hotch laughed.

“Actually the idea that sugar makes children hyper is a situational error,” Reid stated, scooping Jack up and hugging him before carrying him over to the breakfast bar and sitting him in his stool, “Children are generally hyper at times when large amounts of sugar are served because they’re also in a group of their friends at the same time, such as a party or during recess at school. Since children enjoy praise for their accomplishments, they’ll often show off and it can be perceived as-“

“Thank you, Doctor Reid,” Hotch teased, “That’s all I can handle this early in the morning. Jack, eggs or cereal?”

“Eggs!” Jack called out.

“Spencer, want some eggs?”

“Sure, but can I make them?” Reid asked, “I just need something to do right now.”

“Sure,” Hotch smiled, “But for the record you’re spoiling me.”

“Maybe you deserve to be spoiled,” Reid smiled, staring down at the egg carton he’d pulled out of the fridge.

“I’m going to get Jack dressed,” Hotch replied, scooping up his wiggling son and tickling him as he carried him towards the bedroom.

XXX

Reid enjoyed the drive in to work each day. It was shorter than his commute was so he had less time to read, but Hotch enjoyed listening to him ramble about what he was reading and had started listening to classical music because of Reid’s irritation at having something with lyrics play while he was reading. Hotch admitted after only one drive that it made him calmer and yet more alert, so when he got to work he was more refreshed than ever.

They always got to work first, so Reid would plop down in Hotch’s office on his little sofa and continue reading while Hotch went through files and reviewed Garcia’s suggested caseload. Occasionally he bounced his own thoughts off of Reid, usually ones too personal to share with the group; like how sick and frightened the child related cases made him. At one point Reid simply stood up from the couch, walked over, hugged him tightly, and then went back to the sofa without a word. Hotch had needed that, especially the silent part. Reid knew he didn’t like to express his emotions and Reid wasn’t comfortable with them either, so it worked well when Hotch _needed_ to let them out that Reid simply accepted them rather than demanding he justify or validate them.

“Reid…” Hotch froze as he stared down at the file on his desk. Garcia generally put them in order of least important to most (in her opinion) so that he had the most intense one fresh in his mind but could also veto it and pull a different case forward. The last one in the pile, however, had Hotch’s gut twisting for a different reason than intensity.

“It’s him, isn’t it? Reid asked, “It’s Clarence.”

“It looks like it but… Are you okay taking a look?”

“Yes,” Reid stood up and walked over to him, taking the file.

“You might want to sit down,” Hotch pointed out.

Reid took a chair and his eyes flickered over the file. He grew pale. Then he turned a bit green. Hotch got the trashcan to him in time for him to sick up his breakfast.

“That’s okay,” Hotch stated, helping him hold his hair back, “It doesn’t mean you have it too. Just a couple more weeks before you get the results. You can make it.”

“They can-“ Reid’s response was interrupted as he retched into the basket again, “Okay, I’m okay. Okay. Um… They can prove rape by tracking the strain of that specific mutation.”

“They can prove more than that,” Hotch replied, putting the basket down and tying off the bag so he could dispose of it, “A good lawyer will get him put away for manslaughter. A better one for murder.”

“I don’t think I want to listen to that theory right now,” Reid replied miserably, “Can we go back to house hunting this morning? I want a do-over.”

“I shouldn’t have let you look at that,” Hotch sighed, “Will you be okay while I get rid of this?”

“I should do that...”

“You should go to the bathroom and freshen up. There’s mouthwash in my go bag.”

Hotch took the bag and left Reid rifling through his bag. When he returned Reid looked much improved and was taking a few slow, deep breaths.

“I’m okay,” He said before Hotch could ask.

“We can give it to another department.”

“Not happening.”

“Okay. So we work this.”

“Yeah.”

They stayed silent until after the group arrived, both sitting still as they digested the ramifications of that file. When the group came they headed silently to the conference room and it wasn’t long before everyone filed in. Garcia didn’t even ask, she just brought the file up on the projection screen.

“Brace yourselves,” Garcia stated, “We’ve got a personal one here. Three different cities in Virginia have reported a slew of date rapes occurring by a man who claims to be HIV positive in order to subdue his victims. His threat of raping them without protection forces them to submit to sex _with_ protection. So far this has led to police just… being ignorant and un-evolved and not taking it seriously. Until now. This is Toby Marcowitz and he refused to give in and go quietly. Six months ago he was raped and after numerous tests they have determined that he is in fact HIV positive. Now they figured that out two months ago and then started backdating this case and taking the rest of the victims seriously. Now, I’ve been watching cases with these parameters very closely, but we can’t step in until we are invited or three bodies turn up so we had no recourse. Until now.”

The camera clicked over to the next slide, “Last night Toby and three other victims of this man’s- and I use that term loosely- assault committed mass suicide by hanging themselves beside a sign that read #yesmentoo. Now, for those of you _not_ tech-savvy this is referring to a hashtag that references women being treated like sex objects. Some men have retaliated by saying #notallmen, as in men aren’t all big nasty, rapey, beasts, but a lot of people feel that’s not cool. Then a hashtag started for #yesmentoo referencing the fact that men can be raped as well and that it’s often ignored, while not dismissing the fact that women need to be more respected.”

“Which led the media to swarm this,” Hotch stated, cutting off Garcia’s rant, “Once they got a hold of the picture it became a dangerous weapon for anyone who is suffering from HIV.”

“In short,” Garcia continued, “We’re being called in because the police are afraid more HIV positive people are going to kill themselves because of this situation. _Not_ because a guy is raping guys and that’s a terrible thing that no one is taking ser-“

“Garcia?” Hotch stated flatly.

“Sorry. Stepping off my soapbox now,” Garcia replied, and took her seat.

The room fell silent. Morgan was very carefully watching Reid and Hotch was trying to think of a way to rescue his young friend. Reid cleared his throat and took the reins himself.

“He’s using multiple aliases, so that implies that the rape is expected to happen. It’s not a crime of passion.”

“He doesn’t date these men expecting to form a relationship, he dates them expecting to rape them,” Hotch stated, nodding his agreement, “That makes him a cross between a stalker and a serial rapist.”

“I would disagree on the stalking idea simply because he didn’t know I was a technophobe when he approached me- assuming this is the same guy- so until we talk to the victims and find out if he knew them before hand it might be better to assume he’s a pick-up artist who targets men who look innocent or closed off.”

Reid pulled out three pictures from his paper version of what Hotch had on his tablet and placed them down on the table side by side. They didn’t resemble Reid physically, one wasn’t even the same race, but their clothing style and the way they held themselves was instantly apparent.

“He’s going for submissive men who are unlikely to have a varied sex history,” Prentiss nodded, “He gets off on the rejection.”

“We need to talk to the rest of these men,” Reid stated, “I want to know if they were asked the same questions.”

“What sort of questions?” Hotch asked sharply.

“He asked me on our first date if I was a virgin. At the time I thought it was invasive but I let it go because I haven’t dated enough to know if that were a common question. I also thought it might have to do with his religious inclinations. Now I’m wondering if he was looking for his _type_. Remember how angry he got when I said I didn’t know anything about computers? He was outraged that I wasn’t the type of geek he thought I was based on my appearance.”

“So he’s looking for nerds,” Morgan stated, “Why?”

“Let’s finish this on the way,” Hotch stated, wanting desperately to get Reid out from under Morgan’s eyes.

He stood and gripped Reid’s arm, tugging him out the door before the rest of the group could stand. He pulled him into his office and shut the blinds so the group couldn’t stare in at him as he tried his damndest not to hug Reid and tell him to stay home where he was safe. He failed, but not due to his own actions. Reid walked forward and instantly threw his arms around Hotch’s neck. Hotch held him tightly for a moment.

“You don’t have to go,” He told him.

“I have to.”

“I’ll even stay,” Hotch stated, “We can leave this to Rossi.”

_Let me protect you._

“I have to go.”

“You will tell me the _moment_ you aren’t able to handle it.”

Reid stepped back, a teasing smile on his lips, “You say that as if me breaking down is an eventuality. I’m stronger than I look. I’ve survived the last four months. I’m not giving up now.”

Hotch smiled and nodded. For a moment something passed between them; something electric that made the hair rise on the back of his neck. He felt himself sway towards Reid but he didn’t think it was right of him to hold the young man again. He pulled away just as Reid frantically turned aside with wide eyes.

“We should go,” Reid stated.

“Yes,” Hotch replied, his voice uncharacteristically deep, “ _Ahem_. Yes, let’s go before they start trying to bug my office.”

They opened the door and Prentiss quickly put a cup behind her back.

“Does that actually work?” Reid asked.

“Um… yeah,” Prentiss replied, giving up her attempt to hide the cup.

“Cool,” Reid observed.

Hotch gave her a scolding glance and hurried after Reid’s retreating form. Since this was all happening in their own state they hopped into two SUV’s and headed off to visit the scene of the suicides. Normally they would communicate by speakerphone, but Hotch kept answering by headset and told Morgan more than once to hold off until they interviewed. He didn’t want to discuss the case yet. He wanted to _do_ something. Preferably find the bastard and beat him senseless, but he’d settle for running himself ragged searching down clues and interviewing victims, families, and suspects.

_I should be the one taken off the case._

Since the case was spread across several counties but only one had invited them in Garcia had contacted several victims and had them report in. They were there by the time they got back from the scene. One of them was very recent and still on his PAP meds. He came in looking sickly and pale, his clothes dishevelled and his body reeking from a lack of self-care. Reid stared at him silently as Morgan led him to a side room to interview him. They each took a person, even Reid who came out of his interview looking nearly as pale as the man still on antiretrovirals.

“You okay?” Hotch asked him softly.

“Please stop asking that until this is over,” Reid replied, “None of them were able to improve on the rendering I gave the department.”

“That’s unsurprising. You’re not exactly known for being wrong.”

“Yeah, but where is he? His face is all over the news. His DNA was at a scene _before_ I was even raped. Why haven’t we found this guy?”

“We will,” Hotch replied, “And when we do we’ll nail him to the wall.”

XXX

In the end it was another intended victim who captured the unsub. George Grey, AKA Clarence, was out on a date with a young man who had recognized his picture. He’d tried to change his appearance a bit, but his target had already been certain that the young man before him was the rapist from the television. Once Grey pulled out his knife and forced his date into his apartment he turned a can of pepper spray on him and didn’t stop spraying until it was empty. Then he called the police. The intended victim was rather vague on who had kicked him repeatedly and when.

Hotch was disappointed that he hadn’t been a part of the arrest, but he was there when the man was brought in after a quick trip to the hospital. His face was red and slathered in lotion, but it was clearly the man from the sketch Reid had helped create. When he was dragged through the door Reid was standing in a different room where he’d been creating a geographical profile that hadn’t been complete before the man had been snatched up. He looked through the doorway at the same moment the man was looking around and shouting out his innocence. His eyes fell on Reid and he didn’t seem to react. Neither did Reid. He just turned and walked back into the room. Hotch hurried after Reid while Morgan and Prentiss went in to start questioning Grey.

“Something going on I should know about?”

“You remember how I said I wasn’t going to press charges? That I couldn’t handle facing him in court?”

“Yes, but you don’t have to. Not now or ever. We’ve got enough evidence to put him away for decades, possibly even life. Do you want to go for a ride? We could hit up a café or-“

“I haven’t been to a café since I was raped.”

“You… sorry?”

“I haven’t been to a café since I was raped. Or had coffee. I gave it up. I _had_ to give it up.”

“I’ve seen you drink-“

“Tea,” Reid stated, “I made you coffee every morning, but while you were showering or getting Jack ready I made myself black tea. You never noticed since the room smelled like coffee and I never corrected you.”

“Why were you trying to hide the fact you switched to tea?”

“Because if I mentioned I couldn’t drink it anymore you might have noticed that even _smelling_ it bothers me. I make it for you every morning because if _you_ brew it _after_ I eat I’ll throw up my breakfast.”

“Spencer, _why_ didn’t you tell me? I have no problem switching to tea and-“

“ _That’s_ why,” Reid spun on him, eyes flashing angrily, “He already took two things I love from me: my virginity and my coffee. I’m not about to let him start robbing you too. Hotch, I love you, but if we’re going to get through this together than you can _not_ treat me like a victim or sacrifice for me to the point of resentment.”

“Okay,” Hotch nodded, “I’ll keep drinking coffee.”

“Good,” Reid replied, turning back to the board.

“I’ll just switch to instant so it doesn’t stink up the house.”

“ _Hotch!_ ” Reid snapped, turning back angrily.

“It’s called _compromise,_ Spence. It’s what people who care about each other do. Especially while living together. I gave up more for Haley while she was pregnant. Did I ever tell you she had an aversion to the sight and smell of the detergent I’d used my whole life? It reminded me of home, of my mother, and I’d always loved it and done the laundry for that reason. Then suddenly it made Haley sick. I switched brands assuming her aversion would leave after pregnancy. It didn’t. She couldn’t stand the smell of it till the day she died and I still haven’t bought it again.”

“How is that a compromise?” Reid asked.

Hotch smiled sadly, “When she realized I missed it she asked JJ and Garcia to start using it.”

Reid paused, “That’s… sweet and romantic in a weird way. Wasn’t she jealous?”

“That the two of the attractive women in my department now remind me of my mother?” Hotch raised an eyebrow, “Not really. I think she was just sorry she never got around to asking Prentiss to start using it. My point is, I don’t care about coffee the way you… used to. It makes no difference to me what the quality of my caffeine is. I’ll use instant and if you ever feel like walking into a café again we’ll try the fresh stuff again together.”

Reid’s anger had dissolved and he sank into a chair with a sigh, “Now what? I don’t feel like I’ve solved this. Maybe I should testify against him. Maybe if I confront him on the stand I won’t feel so _helpless_ anymore.”

Hotch shook his head, “The only reason we’re even here is because four people died to point out that this was rape despite the fact three of them,” Hotch threw up air quotes, “’Complied.’ You’ll be taken apart on the stand.”

They sat in silence for a while, then Hotch broached a subject he knew he shouldn’t but couldn’t resist.

“You’re a virgin?”

“I was,” Reid shrugged.

“Many people would say you still are because you didn’t consent.”

“Many people are wrong,” Reid replied, “Virginity throughout history hasn’t been something you give away willingly. In fact it’s more often been something taken from you based on the fact arranged marriage has been a fact far longer than marrying for love. Then you’ve got the rather revolting fact that in Biblical times the response to rape was to force them to marry their assailant- assuming they could prove it was rape and not be stoned for it- and…”

“Spencer,” Hotch stated firmly, “Virginity isn’t a logical state. You aren’t a virgin because you haven’t had sex or have had sex; you’re a virgin because you haven’t shared a sexual _experience_ with someone. There are people all over the world who never, ever have penetrative sex but don’t consider themselves to be virgins anymore: lesbians who don’t enjoy sex toys, gay men who dislike anal, asexual people who share other forms of intimacy. In some circles losing your virginity is as simple as a hand job. Then you have the many men and women out there who have been violated who hold firm to the idea that they’re still virgins. Or those who believe that baptism has restored their state of innocence. It’s a matter of _perspective._ ”

“I’m sorry, Aaron. My perspective is that it’s gone. I was saving it for someone I was in love with and now I’ll never have that. Even if…” Reid sighed and looked away, “Two weeks. Two more weeks and we’ll know.”

Hotch put his hand out and gripped Reid’s for a moment, “We’ll make it.”

“I hope so.”

“Spencer, you need to tell me if you’re thinking about-“

“I’m not,” Reid shook his head, “I just don’t know how I’d deal with the disappointment. A lifetime of celibacy is something I’ve thought about for intellectual reasons, but to have it _forced_ on me. It feels like being raped all over again every single time I wake up.”

“People with HIV do have healthy sex lives.”

“Yeah,” Reid sighed, “I guess, but how many of them were already as unappealing as I am?”

Hotch opened his mouth to tell Reid off for that one when Morgan stepped into the room.

“We got a problem,” He growled out.

“Did you hit him?” Reid asked, his face lighting up, “I missed it! I knew I should have been watching!”

“I didn’t hit him,” Morgan replied, “But it was a near thing. The bastard is trying to get his sentence reduced.”

“Not a chance in hell,” Hotch frowned.

“He’s trying to say that _he_ was a victim too, and that’s why he has the same illness. He’s swearing he didn’t draw a weapon on the man who turned him in and that he’s not our guy. Since we never recovered the weapon supposedly turned on him it’s kind of a problem. I’m arranging a line up with the other victims but-“

“That won’t be necessary,” Reid stated, and stood up to head for the room.

“Reid, wait!” Hotch shouted, “What are you doing, you can’t go in there if you’re going to testify!”

“Then I won’t!” Reid called, “But there are victims out there who have suffered more than I have and I’m not going to let him get away with this.”

Reid glanced around the station as if searching for something and then headed for a young officer with sandy hair.

“You’re a bit too light haired, but you’ll do,” Reid informed him.

“Excuse me?” The officer asked.

“I’m going to need you to change into my clothes,” Reid informed him.

“ _Excuse me?_ ” The officer asked in alarm.

“Don’t worry,” Reid gave him a tight lipped smile, “I have a spare set that’s clean.”

XXX

An hour later Reid led the officer- dressed in the geekiest clothing Reid owned and sporting a pair of lenseless glasses- into the interrogation room with the confused man handcuffed at his side. Hotch stood outside the windows and watched them carefully while the tape recorded it all.

“Oh,” Reid glanced into the room, “Sorry Prentiss, Morgan. I thought this room was empty. Can you clear him out of here? We caught the real Café Rapist so you can let him go. I _told_ you that didn’t look like the right guy. I can’t believe you guys mistook _that guy_ for the bastard who raped me.”

“Um… okay,” Prentiss replied in confusion.

Morgan frowned and stood up to take him out, but Grey was trying desperately to avoid looking in Reid’s direction and it was making uncuffing him awkward. Reid walked into the room more fully, edging the officer to one side and staring at his watch while sighing in frustration.

“Can we get this hurried along? I have a date meeting me at Suzie’s Café in an hour.”

The suspect planted his feet and stared narrowly at Reid.

“So… you… you like coffee?” The man asked.

“Hm?” Reid asked, glancing up to meet his eyes and then walking past him to sit the officer down and begin cuffing him to the table, “Yeah, I love coffee. You?”

“Sure,” The man paused, licking his lips, “Haven’t we met before?”

“Not that I recall,” Reid replied, and walked around to sit down in the interviewer’s seat, “Can you guys send in Hotch once you get… what’s-his-name… out of here? I’ll need him to help me with this situation. This guys going to be hard to crack. He’ll need our best effort, and that means our best men.”

Prentiss lifted her eyebrow, “And Morgan and I would be…?”

“Sorry,” Reid smiled tightly, “Just being realistic. We all know that when we really want someone to talk we don’t send in you two. We send in the _impressive_ interviewers for the _important_ cases. Who wants to hear about a well known criminal being interviewed by a chick and a black guy?”

Reid turned back to the officer, completely dismissing the three other people in the room.

“Your lawyer will be arriving shortly,” He told the officer.

“I didn’t do this,” Officer Craig stated firmly, “You can’t pin it on me.”

“Say what you like, but you’re going to be remembered for this _forever_. Trust me. I never forget a face and _you’re_ the bastard who took my virginity.”

“Like hell he is!” Grey snarled, “That skinny little shit doesn’t even _look_ like me! I thought you were supposed to be some kind of genius!”

Reid turned around and frowned, “I don’t think so. I think I’d remember my _rapist_. You must have me confused with someone else. Have you ever been to comic-con? I go there a lot.”

“Yeah, I’ve been to comic-con, that’s where I find half of my bitches! I saw you there, looking _stupid_ in a Doctor Who costume, and I just _knew_ you’d never even _seen_ a dick before! So I followed you and sure enough you’re a coffee nutcase just like me.”

“Oh?” Reid smiled, turning to give him his full attention, “That’s nice, but I really don’t have time to chit-chat about beans right now. More important things to do. You understand.”

“Listen you little _shit!_ ” Grey snarled, “I had you pinned down on your own bed, sobbing into your pillow for an hour while I held off coming just so I could hear you whimper some more. You cried like a _girl_. Don’t you fucking act like you don’t remember me!”

Reid turned slightly towards the mirror, “Good, Hotch?”

“That’ll do,” Hotch replied through the speaker.

“Officer Craig, you can go now. Sorry about the cuffs and wardrobe change,” Reid stated, standing up and helping him out of the cuffs.”

“No problem,” The officer replied, giving Reid a worried look, “Are _you_ gonna be okay?”

“Of course,” Reid smiled warmly, “Breaking a suspect is all in a days work.”

Reid turned and left while a pale and shaken Grey was lowered back into his seat. Reid stepped out of the room and headed straight out the door to the parking lot where he was spectacularly sick in a flowerbed. JJ bolted after him so Hotch’s internal war over who to follow was settled. Instead he headed in to where Rossi was handing the man a piece of paper and a pen with a smug smile on his face.

“Just one more question,” Hotch stated, standing over the man, “Why?”

“Why?” Grey blinked up at him, “You new or something?”

“An excellent question,” Rossi asked, giving Hotch a worried look, “Hotch, maybe you should step-“

Hotch cut him off with a hand wave, “Answer me. Why?”

The man sneered at him as if he were the one who was small and pathetic, “Because I love how _betrayed_ they look. Three dates was all it ever took for them to relax. I tried just snatching them off the street and going right at it, but they were so shocked they never made those _perfect_ little horrified whimpers. In fact, they were usually silent. I’d have to get my hands dirty to actually get them to cry out, and I’m not into blood. That’s why I go for the virgins the most. They made the best noises. Like I was sucking their souls out through my dick. That, and you _always_ remember your first. Always.”

“Hopefully someone who shares your interests will befriend you in prison,” Hotch stated coldly, then turned sharply and left.

Hotch went outside and found Reid sitting on the sideway with his feet in the road. He had his head between his legs and was taking slow, deep breaths. JJ gave Hotch a worried look as he came out.

“His eyes are going all glazed again. Like in the hospital.”

“Spencer,” Hotch soothed, squatting down and rubbing his back gently, “Tell us what you need.”

“I… I’m okay. I just… can you hold me for a bit?”

“Of course,” Hotch replied, “Come around the corner. They’ll be moving him and I don’t want you to have to look at him again.”

Hotch walked him around to the other side of the building and helped him sit down on a bench, pulling him into his arms and rocking Reid from side to as he held him tightly, “I told Morgan to let me know when _he’s_ cleared out.”

JJ had gone back inside but after a few minutes she came around the building with a soda in hand but hesitated before approaching, “I hope I’m not interrupting…”

“That for Reid?” Hotch asked by way of an answer.

“I thought a ginger ale might help.”

“Thanks,” Reid sat up and accepted the soda, wiping his tears aside, “I’m so tired of feeling like this. I’m worried it’s the start of HIV reducing my immune system, then I rationalize it and realize it’s more likely to be anxiety, then I worry about schizophrenia, then I…”

“Spence,” JJ cut him off sharply, “Stop this. You just had a major victory in there. You had him convict _himself_. He’s going away for a _long_ time. You won.”

“I know,” Reid nodded, “And a part of me is elated and proud and _vindicated,_ but another part… I just want this all to go away.”

JJ joined them on the bench, leaning over and stretching out across Reid’s other side. She took his hand in hers and they sat in silence together until Morgan came around.

“There room in that group hug for me?” He asked, squating down in front of Reid, “You did good in there pretty boy.”

“Thanks,” Reid smiled miserably.

“He’s gone but if you want I can drive you home now,” Morgan told him, gripping his free hand while Reid hesitantly burrowed out of Hotch’s shoulder.

“I’ll have to finish up the paper work,” Hotch stated, “Will you be okay at home alone, or do you want to stay here with me?”

Reid considered, “I’ll stay with you.”

“Okay,” Morgan nodded, “I’m going to call in for some take out. I think we’re all going to need to get this written up and out of our systems for good.”

“No coffee,” Hotch stated, “Tea for everyone. Or soda.”

“Hotch, they don’t have to-” Reid started.

“Shut up,” Hotch cut him off, “They can tolerate it for one day.”

Morgan looked confused for a moment, but then it clicked and he nodded, “Got it. No coffee today. No problem.”


	5. Chapter 5

The call came while they were at work and Reid froze in horror and turned pale.

“H-Hotch,” Reid asked, holding up his phone, “Doctor.”

Hotch stilled and so did the group who were mid-presentation, “You can use my office if you want.”

Reid fled the room and slammed Hotch’s office door. The presentation didn’t continue. They were all standing there watching Reid pace the floor while talking to the doctor. After a few minutes he went to sit down on the desk but missed and just flopped down onto the floor. He sat cross-legged and began to rock back and forth as he dropped his phone onto the floor and put his hands over his face. Hotch was across the room, up the ramp, and inside his office before he realized he’d even stood up. He entered the room and Reid flew to his feet and leaped into Hotch’s arms.

“Negative,” Reid sobbed, “I’m negative. They want me to retest again later, but the chances of it showing up… Aaron, _I’m free_.”

“I’m so glad,” Hotch smiled, hugging him tightly, “When you sat down I thought…”

“I hyperventilated a bit,” Reid chuckled, stepping back and smiling at Hotch through relieved tears, “You know what this means?”

“Uhhh,” Hotch started, intending to throw out a joke, but Reid dove in and he found their lips plastered together.

Hotch froze. Reid was pressed against him from hip to lip and as Hotch’s mouth opened in shock a hot tongue slipped in just as Reid tipped his head to one side to turn the kiss from spontaneous to intimate. He felt a hand in his hair and somehow _that_ pulled him out of the disaster that the situation had become. He unwrapped his arms from Reid’s waist and pressed against his chest until he backed up. Reid gave him an embarrassed look and smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry. I was just so glad I could finally…”

Hotch turned and slammed the door shut behind him, trying and failing to not see the shocked, amused, and hysterical faces of his team on the other side. Reid’s face had fallen to one of concern by the time he jerked the blinds closed and turned to face him.

“I don’t even want to begin to speculate on why you thought that was okay,” Hotch started, anger and fear rising up in him all at once. Anger that Reid would attempt to twist their friendship into something it couldn’t be and fear that he was about to lose the most intimate and beautiful relationship he’d ever had aside from his marriage, “Suffice it to say that your actions are both inappropriate and out of line.”

“What? I. No. Wait. You said… I thought…”

“What?” Hotch asked, “What could I _possibly_ have said that would lead to you stick your tongue in my mouth? Because right now I’m trying _very hard_ not to punch you, so if you have a rational explanation I’d like to hear it.”

The tears were still flowing but Reid’s expression was no longer elated and relieved. Now he looked devastated and betrayed, a sentiment Hotch could certainly sympathize with but he had no idea why _Reid_ was feeling it when he was the one who’d just been taken advantage of. Suddenly all those months in his home buttering him up made sense, and then two weeks ago he’d gotten Hotch drunk and climbed into his bed… he felt sick.

“You said you loved me,” Reid replied, his voice barely above a whisper. In the hospital you said you loved me. You were holding my hands and they were…”

Reid’s voice wavered away and he swallowed hard a few times while Hotch’s mind sorted back through months of memories that revolved almost entirely around this one young man.

“I… gods,” Hotch ran his fingers through his hair, and felt a wave of guilt wash over him, “Spen- _Reid_. Not like that. Not that kind of love. Reid, I’m sorry. I meant as a dear friend, as a brother, not… not romantic love. I didn’t realize you thought-“

Reid pushed past him, flung open the door and fled the offices. Hotch and a few others shouted after him, but Reid wasn’t responding. For a young man who spent most of his time sitting still and reading he could _run_ , and by the time Hotch got to the stairwell Reid was three flights down. He called after him, but Reid was out the doors with a loud _bang_ of the press bar. Hotch let him go and returned to the office where everyone were giving him shocked and confused looks.

“Reid’s negative,” Hotch stated by way of explanation.

“Yeah, and?” Prentiss pressed.

“And nothing, we have a case to solve. Wheels up in one hour,” Hotch snapped sharply, then turned and headed for his office. From there he pulled out his phone and texted Reid.

**Wheels up one hour. Do you need a day off?**

**Yes.**

 

**That’s fine. Take all the time you need. You never did after the incident so I don’t see why you can’t now. I’ll see you when I get home.**

**No.**

Hotch didn’t know how to read into that response. Either Reid was shutting down the conversation or he was saying he wouldn’t be there when Hotch got home. Likely it was the second, but to have Reid give one-word answers was uncanny. Hotch felt sick and the irony of him feeling ill after months of Reid throwing up out of sheer anxiety weren’t lost on him.

XXX

Hotch returned from the case tired and emotionally spent. He’d dodged questions, innuendos, and outright demands for information. Now he was unlocking the door to his apartment and stepping in with the hope that Reid had calmed down and decided to talk it out. His hopes fell on resounding silence. The apartment was empty. Reid’s three suitcases were gone and his blankets were washed and folded, left on the couch without even his scent remaining. However, the scent that had replaced it left him tearing up. He walked to the cupboard where he kept his chemicals, unlatched it, and stared down at a brand new bottle of detergent.

The kind Haley hated and Hotch loved. He’d gone out and bought it just to wash his things in to say goodbye to Hotch in a way that he hoped would comfort him. Hotch had no doubt now. Reid wouldn’t be returning to the BAU. Instead of calling him or rationalizing his decision Hotch sat down on the couch, hugged the sheet to his chest, and wept.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack had cried as well when he found out that Reid wasn’t there anymore. He wanted his study buddy and playmate back. Hotch bought coffee and told himself not to think about how empty the apartment felt as he threw out the magazines Reid had been using to search for a new, larger apartment for them.

_I was giving him so many signals and didn’t even realize. He probably thought we were engaged. How could I be so blind? Why do I miss him so much? He’s a guy. I’ve never been attracted to a guy. I’m fairly certain that I’m not right now. I don’t picture a man in bed even when I jerk off, so why is he in my head every other second of the day. I miss him. I miss hugging him. Every time I realize he’s not going to walk through that door it’s like a knife twisting in my chest._

As the days turned to weeks the feeling didn’t fade and Hotch found himself reaching for his phone over and again only to put it down after staring at Reid’s name for a while. The team asked after Reid but Hotch only told them that he hadn’t reported in. Eventually Strauss told him that Reid had turned in his resignation and asked him to talk the young profiler out of it. Hotch decided that was the universe telling him to pick up the phone and gave Reid a call. He didn’t answer and Hotch left the most awkward message he’d ever done in his life.

“Hi… Spence… Reid… Spencer. Strauss told me to call. She wants you to stay in the BAU, or at least the FBI. So… Maybe give her a call… … … You know, that’s… the thing is I wanted to talk to you too I just… needed a push. So… call me back too. Okay. Bye.”

Hotch hung up and spent an hour staring at the phone while Jack watched a movie and he got absolutely _no_ paperwork done. Reid didn’t call. Hotch decided he was going to go and talk to him but realized in that moment that not only did he not know where Reid was staying, but he had no idea where he’d go now that he and Hotch had ‘broken up’. So he started where he’d start with a case: family.

“JJ, it’s Hotch. Is Reid there?”

“No,” JJ replied, “He hasn’t spoken to me since he ran out. Hasn’t answered texts either. You were acting normal so I just assumed he was visiting his mother. He hasn’t been around as much since you two started dating.”

Hotch rubbed his hand over his face and struggled for a moment, “Okay, thank you.”

“Oh no,” JJ sighed, “Hotch, what have you done?”

“I think I ruined something beautiful without even knowing what it was,” Hotch replied, “Where would he go if not to you?”

“Morgan maybe? Hotch, what’s going on. You told us he was negative. Shouldn’t he be thrilled? Or was that not true?”

“It’s true,” Hotch replied.

“So what’s going on?” JJ asked, but when he stayed silent she got angry, “Hotch, what the hell is going on?!”

“We weren’t dating,” Hotch spat out, and his voice cracked as he said it, “I didn’t know… I misread him completely. He kept talking about a future and I just assumed…”

“Hotch we _all_ thought you two were a couple, how is it even possible you weren’t? How did you not know how he felt? He was mooning over you and... how is this possible?”

“I don’t know,” Hotch replied miserably, “He was so _broken_. I just was trying to comfort him, not lead him on. He was clingy, but I figured I was being a father figure to him. JJ I have to find him. I was just trying to be a good friend and now…”

“Okay. You call Morgan, I’ll call Reid’s mom. If he’s there she will talk to me but I’m not sure she’ll talk to you if he’s bared all.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Hotch hung up, took a few steadying breaths, drank a sip of water, and called Morgan.

“Yeah?” Morgan asked, his voice rough with exhaustion.

“Is Reid there?”

“No,” Morgan replied angrily, “Let me get this straight.”

“I guess JJ texted you while she was calling Reid’s mom.”

“The right word is ‘straight’ isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid so,” Hotch sighed.

“How could you not see how madly in love with you he was?”

“I have to go,” Hotch sighed.

“Oh hell no, you-“

Hotch hung up and rang Prentiss, but she didn’t answer. She eventually sent him one text.

**Respectfully sir, you bastard.**

  1. Hotch replied, and called Rossi.



“No dice,” Rossi chuckled, “You really think he’d come here? I mean, if he wanted a rebound I’m as uninterested in men as you _supposedly_ are.”

“Not helpful Dave,” Hotch sighed.

“You, my friend, need to do some soul searching, not phone searching.”

“Where else would he go?”

“You lived with him for four months, Hotch. Where do _you_ think he’d go?”

“To someone sympathetic,” Hotch replied, “But who if not our team would… oh.”

“Mm-hm,” David replied.

Hotch hung up and called Garcia.

“He’s there, isn’t he?”

“What charges? On which card?” Garcia asked, then lowered her voice letting him know that she had moved to another room and was no longer trying to keep Reid from knowing whom she had on the phone, “You got major cojones calling me.”

“I never meant to lead him on, Garcia. I just want to talk to him.”

“According to Junior Genius you two were basically engaged for four months,” Garcia snarled, “He has not stopped telling me about the family he finally had since he got here, about how he was looking forward to Jack calling him papa someday, and for that _split second_ after he knew he was clear and before he kissed you how _he thought it was going to happen_.”

“I know that now, but I didn’t know that then,” Hotch replied, “I just want to talk to him. I don’t want it to end like this.”

“Your one-sided relationship is the only thing that kept him going for the past four-and-a-half months. He does _not_ want to talk to you. He wants to _marry_ you, you, you, you…”

“Homewrecker?” Hotch suggested.

“Yes, that! That is a good word! You wrecked his home!”

“Penelope I _need_ to talk to him.”

“You _need_ to let him get over this. What I don’t understand is how you _missed_ this? You’re a profiler! Reid misunderstanding signals I can get, he’s all books smarts and no street smarts, but he was _so obviously_ insanely in love with you!”

“I don’t know,” Hotch sighed, “Everyone is asking me that. I can’t figure it out.”

Garcia sighed heavily, “Are you even gay? Or bi? Or anything besides straight?”

“Please let me talk to him.”

“I mean, I’m no profiler- thank the goddess for that- but I _know_ my ships and-“

“Ships?”

“It’s an internet term, more specifically a fandom term.”

“Okay, now I’m more confused.”

“It means pairings of people who you want to see together, normally in shows and movies but in this case real life, and _you_ Mr. Hotchner are _meant_ to be with Dr. Reid.”

“Well, you’re not the only one who thinks that, but maybe if I could talk to the other half of my ship…”

“I mean, the way you watch him _constantly_. And I know, because ever since The Replicator I’ve been watching you guys constantly. I mean _constantly_. I always make sure that I have eyes on you, and you watch him like a cat watches catnip.”

“I don’t do that,” Hotch denied instantly.

“Yeah. You do. You want proof? Check your e-mail.”

Hotch pulled out his laptop, booted it up, and stared curiously at a clip of himself. Every time Reid shifted Hotch’s eyes flew to him. When he coughed or spoke his whole body turned towards him. When Reid became distressed after the inverview with ‘Clarence’ Hotch was visibly upset and clearly twitching to run to his side. More kept coming in as he watched them and Garcia pulled up, cut, and sent more to him. An hour passed and Hotch was profiler enough to admit the truth out loud.

“I love him,” Hotch stated in shock.

“Um, yeah!” She replied sarcastically, “So what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know,” Hotch replied, shutting his computer, “I’ve never had a sexual identity crisis before. I’ve never even known anyone who has; at least not this late in life. I’m not sure how to handle it.”

“Who said anything about sex?” Garcia replied, “He wants to be _loved_ by you! Tell him that!”

“What if I can’t give him a full relationship? Garcia, he doesn’t deserve that. He already had a sexless relationship with Maeve, he deserves to be loved in all ways.”

“Hotch, _listen to yourself_.”

Hotch ran his hand over his face, rocked in place for a moment, and struggled to figure out what to do next.

“I won’t lie to him. I’ve already unintentionally messed with his head.”

“So you’ll do what, let him _mourn_ you? That’s what he’s doing right now. He’s gone full post-Maeve on me and it’s really depressing and messing up my centre.”

“Okay. I’ll come over and talk to him, I just… I don’t want to give him the wrong idea.”

“Bring chocolate.”

“Won’t that give him the wrong idea?” Hotch frowned.

“It’s not for him, it’s for me. _You owe me_.”

“White, milk, or dark?”

“Dark. Like my chocolate prince.”

Garcia hung up and Hotch sighed and texted Morgan.

**I’m going over to talk to Reid. Maybe you should talk to Garcia.**

**What about?** Morgan replied.

**I’m not the only one.**

Hotch left it at that and headed over with a box of chocolates in tow. Garcia answered the door and motioned Hotch over to the couch Reid was sitting on. Hotch passed her the chocolates and sat down beside Reid who was giving Garcia a betrayed look.

“Don’t give me that,” Garcia told Reid, “You knew it would come to this. Boss man, don’t hurt him more than you already have. We had a deal.”

Garcia grabbed her keys and left the apartment with a smirk and a wave. Hotch sat there staring around at the gaudy decorations and trying to find something to say.

“Why are you here?” Reid asked.

“I missed you,” Hotch replied, staring down at Reid’s twiddling fingers and aching to take them in hand, “I missed you in my home, in my life…”

“No,” Reid stated, “Don’t. You have no idea how much that hurts.”

“Spencer,” Hotch turned partway to face Reid but he jumped up and moved away from him before he could reach out. Hotch’s hand felt cold where he had missed out on touching Reid’s skin, “Spencer, I came here to ask you to come back home. I can’t promise you the relationship you deserve, but I can promise you I will give you everything that I am capable of.”

“Why?” Reid asked, still not looking at him. Instead he was practically pressed into the corner of Garcia’s living room as if he were punishing himself, “Pity?”

“No,” Hotch replied, standing and walking closer, “Garcia knocked some sense into me earlier. I’m not going to lie to you I’m… I don’t know if I can be attracted to men, but I want to at least try.”

“I don’t want that so please leave,” Reid replied sharply, arms wrapped tightly around himself.

“I know it’s not ideal,” Hotch pleaded softly, “And if you don’t want that I’ll understand, but at least hear me out. An _emotional_ relationship. Everything we’ve been doing for the past four months and the freedom to date anyone so that you can someday have a physical relationship if it turns out I can’t be intimate with you. Which- by the way- would be _my_ problem, not yours. You’re a desirable person, I’m just not certain I can be with _any_ man physically.”

Reid turned around finally and gave Hotch a confused look, “You want an asexual relationship with me?”

“More than anything,” Hotch replied, standing up as well, “Spencer I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve missed you. I… I don’t have the words. I know I screwed up, but if you’ll just give me _one_ chance I will do anything I can to-“

Reid walked forward quickly and threw his arms around Hotch, who hugged him tightly and shut his eyes as the tears started up. Reid was shaking and it took him a moment to realize he was sobbing silently in his arms.

“Can I take that as a yes?” Hotch asked, his voice cracking.

“I want to go home.”

“Okay,” Hotch nodded, “Just let me hug you for a little bit longer, I don’t think I’ve had my fix yet.”

They laughed a bit through the tears and then Hotch loosened his grip so Reid could step back. Hotch smiled at him through his relieved tears, reaching out to brush the ones that graced Reid’s face. He wanted to kiss him but he _needed_ to get him home before he pushed his own boundaries.

“Come home?”

“Yes,” Reid nodded.

“I can’t promise you-“

“I don’t care,” Reid replied, “I just want _you_.”


	7. Chapter 7

Hotch watched from the doorway as Reid leaned over and kissed Jack’s forehead. The young man stirred a bit, woke up, mumbled ‘Uncle Spence’ and fell straight back to sleep again. Reid walked out of his room with a small smile on his face and Hotch finished paying his neighbour Beth for her time.

“This guys putting my kids through college,” Beth joked, pinching Hotch’s cheek fondly.

“I believe you,” Reid chuckled.

Hotch took up Reid’s bags and carried them into his bedroom and Reid followed with his final bag and a giddy feeling in his stomach. Hotch had held his hand the entire way from Garcia’s apartment, glancing over at him at stop lights as if he were worried Reid would vanish from sight. Reid was flushed and shy, his hair in his eyes as Hotch turned back the covers and rearranged the pillows. He usually kept one verticle on the bed since he slept alone, but now he moved it for Reid.

“I’m going to brush up,” Hotch stated, pressing a kiss to his cheek and looking flustered at his own boldness, “So… I’ll just… right.”

Reid chuckled a bit as he started to unpack his essentials. He joined Hotch in the bathroom and the man moved aside so Reid could brush up as well. Hotch spat into the sink, “I’m thinking our next apartment has to have a double sink. Or two bathrooms.”

“We’re still moving?” Reid asked, beginning to floss as Hotch rinsed out his mouth.

“I don’t see why not. I don’t think we’ll feel as cramped with you sharing a bed with me instead of taking up the couch, but frankly we can afford a bigger place with our income combined and I’d like to have an office. I’m sure you’d like a place you can retire to when Jack gets too intense.”

“Mm-hm,” Reid acknowledged, reaching for his toothbrush, as he began to brush his teeth Hotch stepped up behind him and stared at him in the mirror over his shoulder.

“If this is too much just push me away,” Hotch stated, then slipped his arms around Reid’s waste and pressed against his back.

Reid’s eyes fell shut and he leaned against Hotch, forgetting entirely about brushing his teeth. Hotch chuckled and nuzzled his neck.

“Finish up,” Hotch encouraged, “We can cuddle in bed.”

Reid shook himself out of his daze and hurriedly finished brushing his teeth while Hotch ran his nose along Reid’s shoulder and neck.

“I can’t believe I’ve been holding all this back. Now I’ve given myself permission to touch you I don’t want to stop.”

Reid shivered, desire spiking through his body.

“Too much?” Hotch asked, starting to pull back. Reid caught at one of his forearms and pulled him close again.

Reid spat, rinsed, and replied, “Good reaction.”

“Okay, good,” Hotch replied, “I don’t want to treat you like glass but I also don’t want to cross any lines with you. The last thing I want is for you to be uncomfortable with me.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Reid replied, turning and slipping his arms around Hotch’s shoulders, “Can I kiss you?”

“Just… don’t expect too much,” Hotch warned, worry in his eyes.

Reid smiled softly and leaned forward to press their lips together. For a moment it was chaste and soft, then Hotch turned his head a bit and deepened the kiss. Reid moaned as their tongues moved together slowly but when Reid’s hips pressed against his with the beginnings of an erection he pulled back with his brows furrowed in frustration.

“Sorry,” Hotch replied, “Baby steps.”

“That’s… fine,” Reid replied, his breath a bit fast, “I can wait. Or whatever.”

“Bed?” Hotch suggested.

“Yeah.”

They returned to the bedroom and Reid felt Hotch’s eyes on his face as he changed into fresh boxer briefs and a t-shirt to sleep. He glanced over at Hotch curiously as well but the man was completely unabashed about his partial nudity so Reid turned more fully so he could admire him. Hotch’s chin lifted just a bit. Pride. He was proud of his body. He had a right to be, he was _incredibly_ fit for a man his age despite the scars from Foyet and the subsequent surgeries. Reid was scrawny and awkward, but he had a long, thick cock that he hoped Hotch could admire some day. For now he was just glad to have the man willing to _try_. They each climbed into bed from opposite sides and lay on their sides facing each other. Reid smiled happily, content just to be near the man he loved.

“Would me holding you be too much?” Hotch asked, “I don’t want to be a tease.”

His smile was tease enough, and Reid told him so, laughing along with the older man before scooting forward and nuzzling against his chest. He breathed in his scent and ran his hand along his ribs, waiting for the moment Hotch pulled away. It didn’t come. Instead Hotch gave him firm kiss on the top of his head and held him tightly as they both drifted off to sleep.

Morning was a new experience for Reid. He’d not touched himself in months- depression and illness warring within him- so short of nocturnal emissions he’d had no relief in nearly five months. When he woke up pressed against Hotch’s arse he had to roll away and take several steadying breaths to control himself.

“Spence?” Hotch asked sleepily, “You okay? Bad dream?”

“I think the good kind,” Reid panted, “I’m sorry, I need to go… do something.”

“Wait,” Hotch sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “Don’t go.”

“I’m not leaving you, I just… You have no idea what being near you does to me, Aaron.”

“I want to try to touch you,” Hotch replied, “I’m sleepy and relaxed so now is as good a time as ever. I want you to feel good.”

“I don’t want you to be repulsed by me,” Reid replied.

“I won’t be,” Hotch replied, “I’m sure of that. Please let me try?”

Reid gave his puppy dog eyes a glance, moaned throatily, and fell back in the bed with his back arching wantonly.

“Oh, wow,” Hotch breathed, eyes going wide, “That’s surprisingly attractive.”

Reid whimpered as Hotch’s hand reached out and skimmed up beneath his shirt to stroke along his bare flesh. Goosebumps erupted across his skin and Reid panted as his hips bucked frantically.

“This… this is _not_ going to take long but I don’t want you to judge that as my normal erectile span.”

“I’m not judging anything,” Hotch replied, “I’m just… feeling. Your skin is so hot…”

Hotch leaned forward and Reid’s breath caught in his throat as he glanced down and realized Hotch’s mouth was moving towards one dusky nipple that had been exposed by his exploration of Reid’s torso. Hotch mouthed over the nipple and Reid had a moment of panic where he thought perhaps he should have waxed to increase Hotch’s comfort by removing body hair that he wasn’t used to finding in his partners, but his thoughts vanished in the wake of firing neurons. Reid’s hips stuttered upward and while Hotch’s mouth worked his nipple into a hard peak the older man’s hand slid slowly back down his torso. Reid was panting, his hips frantically humping the air by the time Hotch reached anything of interest. His fingertips moved over narrow hips and slid beneath the waistband of his underwear.

“Aaron!” Reid cried out, his tone frantic, “Please!”

Hotch moaned softly and gave the flesh beneath his nipple a slight nip just as his hand curled around Reid’s aching member. Reid was certain he’d never been so hard in his life, and after only a gentle squeeze he was pulsing out his release with a strangled cry. Hotch’s head flew up and when Reid managed to finally get his eyes open he found a look of awe on his face rather than the disgust he’d expected.

“That was beautiful,” Hotch said softly, “You’re beautiful.”

“I’m skinny.”

“You’re perfect,” Hotch replied, leaning forward to capture his lips in a kiss. His hand slowly slid away from Reid’s cock and the man whimpered piteously. It had been so long that he was still achingly hard and without thinking he grabbed at Hotch’s wrist and pressed his hand back down over his flesh. Hotch curiously cupped the damp material covering Reid’s cock and lifted his head in surprise.

“That is an alarmingly short refractory period. _Now_ I’m feeling uncomfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with your anatomy.”

“It’s not normal for me,” Reid panted, “It’s just… I’ve not… you know. In a long, long, long time.”

Hotch frowned, “That’s not healthy.”

“I know. Infrequent ejaculation increases risk of prostate cancer and raises anxiety levels, not to mention the benefits of orgasm on depression.”

“So let’s make you happy, hm?” Hotch gave him a half smile and started to work him over his boxer briefs.

“Ohhhh,” Reid moaned, hips rolling up. He was calmer this time, able to enjoy every single sensation as it rolled over his body.

Hotch pressed soft kisses along Reid’s jaw and nibbled on his earlobe while the young man writhed in pleasure. When Reid reached out to him he turned a bit more so the young man could snake his arm beneath his head and run his fingers across Hotch’s back and side as the man plastered himself to Reid. Reid turned onto his side and began treating Hotch’s neck to the same treatment while he tugged his damp clothes down. Hotch pulled him close by gripping his arse and Reid gasped and pressed himself as tightly against him as he could.

“Spencer,” Hotch moaned, “I think I’m…”

Reid rolled his hips and felt an answering twitch from Hotch’s body. That snapped all of Reid’s control and his hands flew across Hotch’s body, stroking hips and arse indiscriminately as he rutted up against him hungrily. He didn’t kiss his mouth out of worry for morning breath, but when Hotch rolled him onto his back he let his head fall to one side and offered his own neck up for more attention. Hotch mouthed it hungrily as he tugged his trousers down and thrust his hips against Reid’s. His cock was just hard enough to make the motions bearable, but he doubted he’d climax. He was too anxious, his belly tense with something other than impeding orgasm. At the same time he wanted to see Reid’s face contorted in pleasure again. That was why he pushed himself up on his hands at the end, but he lost the angle and Reid groaned in frustration. Hotch kneeled up and took him in hand, stroking him the way he preferred to be touched. It was reversed and he fumbled for a moment, but Reid was approaching culmination and the longing to pleasure him had Hotch working as quickly as possible to learn his body.

“Aaron!” Reid cried out again, reaching up to grip his hair and pull it sharply, “Oh _fuck!_ ”

Hotch groaned, his cock twitching at such a filthy word coming out of his normally pragmatic companion. Reid let out a strangled cry and his cock thickened in impending orgasm before pulsing in his hand. He worked the head as a few drops spat out before Reid began to soften rapidly. His body had gone completely limp, arms flung out above his head, and his eyes were flickering behind his closed lids as if he were asleep. Hotch knew what was happening. Reid was committing their time together into the most prominent sections of his memory in case it never happened again. He opened his eyes and gave Hotch a wary look. The fact Hotch was dwindling rather than chasing release wasn’t lost on either of them.

“I _do_ want to do this again,” Hotch told him, “I’m not running, Spencer.”

“You’re not coming either,” Reid sighed, glancing down, “I wanted to touch, but…”

“You made the right call,” Hotch nodded, kneeling up and grabbing some tissues, “I wasn’t ready for that. I’m surprised I responded at all, to be honest.”

“I don’t want you doing something you’re not comfortable with.”

“I’ll _get_ comfortable,” Hotch replied, “And I absolutely loved bringing you off. You were… Spencer I love you so much. I’m so sorry I put you through rejection when it was so obvious to everyone except me that I was mad about you.”

Reid smiled softly and Hotch leaned forward to press their lips together again, “Come on. Breakfast.”

XXX

Hotch walked into the offices with Reid at his side, resisting the urge to put his hand on the small of his back as he had on the way into the parking garage that day. He hadn’t felt this possessive about a person since his early dating years with Haley. He knew he had fallen hard and that there was now way he was backing out of this. He’d lost Haley but he wasn’t going to lose Reid. As he passed Reid off to Strauss to discuss his reinstatement he stepped into his office and called up his physician.

“Hello, I’d like to leave a message for Dr. Franklin. I’d like some information on impotence. He can reach me on my cell,” Hotch stated to the receptionist. Then walked to Garcia’s office and shut the door behind himself, “Garcia I need your help.”

“Oh gods, you broke his heart,” She stated, spinning around and giving him a horrified look.

“No, we’re together, but I need to be able to perform if I’m going to keep him happy. I need you to research aphrodisiacs, both natural and prescriptions.”

“As in… you can’t…”

“I can, but not enough,” Hotch replied.

“Wow, Reid’s a bit of a tiger in the sack! Didn’t see that one coming. Pun intended,” Garcia smirked.

“Garcia,” Hotch stated, his tone full of warning, “I’m a straight man in love with a bisexual one. I need _help_ , not jokes. I want this to last.”

“Right, sorry. Okay, but aphrodisiacs are bunk. They’ve been disproven like, more times than Loch Ness but are believed in twice as much.”

“You haven’t even looked it up,” Hotch frowned, “There must be sex aids out there that don’t require a prescription.”

“Well, anything that would increase blood flow, really,” Garcia replied, “But a prescription would be easiest. Do you want me to make Kevin get it for you? Because I would totally do that for my OTP.”

“I don’t have a blood flow problem, I have an… after-blood-flow problem. What’s an OTP?”

“So wait, you can get it up but not follow through?” Garcia frowned, “Isn’t that like, a confidence issue? I think I read that in _Cosmo_ once.”

Hotch sighed and turned, leaving her office without replying. Reid was sitting at his desk as he emerged, reading a book and ignoring the questions being directed at him by his co-workers. Hotch glanced over them all and then headed for his office.

“Reid, my office please.”

“Kay!”

Reid followed him in and turned with a sigh, “I’m not shutting the blinds because there are already enough rumours flying. I need to make sure we’re on the same page here. I know, the team knows, you know, but outside of here mums the word. They’ll separate us if the find out we’re fraternizing.”

“Okay,” Reid nodded, his eyes dropping a bit.

“That doesn’t mean that I intend to let this go on like this forever, but when we do come out as a couple I want it to be on our terms, in a way that won’t hurt either of our careers.”

“That being said, do you think I lack confidence in bed?”

“Um… no?” Reid asked, giving him a baffled look.

“That’s what I thought. Thank you,” Hotch walked passed Reid, opened the door, and waited for him to pass through before shutting it behind him. Reid headed for Garcia’s office and Hotch fought down a proud smirk that he’d worked it out so quickly, but he couldn’t quell the pride that the most brilliant mind he’d ever met was his lover.


	8. Chapter 8

Hotch drove home after a week of cases and poor sleep. He’d held Reid in his arms each night, but intimacy was simply out of the question. Not only were they too tired, but the case was one of those that made you sick to your stomach and uninterested in the touch of a lover. Now they were in the car, yawning and tired, and Hotch was starting to wonder what would happen when they got home. Jack was at Jessica’s still and that meant he had a rare night of complete privacy with Reid. Had it been Haley they’d be taking advantage of it even if it meant a couple of cups of coffee and a few candles and deep breathing to clear the case out of his head.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” Hotch asked, wondering if Reid was on the same page as he was.

“Sleep?” Reid asked.

Hotch smirked, “Jack will still be with Jessica.”

Reid was silent a moment, “I was rather hoping we’d swing by and pick him up.”

“Really?” Hotch frowned, “You don’t want a night alone with me?”

“Hm?” Reid frowned, “It’s not like Jack being there really inhibits us.”

“Well, maybe not you,” Hotch chuckled, “But I for one tend to be… louder in bed. When possible.”

“Wh-wait. What. Really?!” Reid’s voice cracked.

Hotch felt himself blush a bit and smothered a smile, “Well, yeah.”

“In that case I retract my earlier statement and would like to stop at an all night pharmacy for lubricant and chocolate.”

“Do I want to know what the chocolate is for?” Hotch asked.

“What _isn’t_ chocolate for?” Reid asked excitedly.

“You don’t want some tea?” Hotch asked with a chuckle, “To wake you up?”

“Wake me up?!” Reid asked, bouncing slightly in the seat, “My lover just told me he wants to have loud sex! I’m wide awake and prominently erect!”

Hotch laughed and then reached out to cup the front of Reid’s clothes. Sure enough he was hard, and just that gentle bit of pressure had him falling back against the seat and rolling his hips up into Hotch’s touch. Hotch hummed in approval and began to stroke him through his trousers while Reid moaned appreciatively.

“Your ability to turn me into a sex crazed lunatic is extremely unsettling… and rewarding…” Reid breathed, “I want to drive you insane.”

“Trust me, you’ve managed that,” Hotch teased, smiling softly.

“I want to make you scream my name,” Reid whimpered, reaching up and gripping the headrest, “Do you think that will- uhn- ever be possible?”

“I imagine so,” Hotch replied, “I’ve never considered my sexuality before, but it would seem I’m more flexible than I’d thought.”

“Mm, I’m _very_ flexible,” Reid purred.

“I’m not sure we’re talking about the same type of flexible,” Hotch chuckled.

“I can put my feet behind my head.”

“Now we are,” Hotch replied, “Could you demonstrate that, or do you require nudity?”

“Not sure,” Reid replied, “Lemme try.”

Reid reached down and pulled his right leg up over his head. Hotch’s breath caught in his throat and he stroked down to trace over his very tightly defined bollocks and ass.

“Pharmacy,” Hotch stated, pulling over and sitting in the nearest spot, “Get out and get our stuff.”

“Me?!” Reid asked, giving him an incredulous look that was made more exaggerated by his hair stuck to his pant leg, “I have an erection and one leg over my head!”

“Yes, but I’m driving and I don’t want to feed the meter. Go.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Reid grumbled, straightening himself out and tucking his erection as much as possible.

“I know,” Hotch stated softly and nodded.

Reid gave him a flirtatious wink and fled into the store. He returned with a bag full of objects and passed Hotch a cold coffee. He opened it, downed it, and then headed for home with an eager gleam in his eye. Hotch’s nerves took that moment to appear and he cleared his throat anxiously.

“I just want to make sure you understand what may- or may _not_ \- happen tonight,” Hotch stated softly.

“I was promised sex and screaming,” Reid stated firmly, “That is happening tonight even if I have to put on porn and turn up the volume.”

Hotch chuckled, “Okay, fair enough.”

“Besides,” Reid pulled out one of the items for the bag, “I found some vibrating condoms and am dying to try them out.”

“How does it vibrate?” Hotch asked in amusement, “Let me see that.”

“No!” Reid tugged the box out of reach, “You’re driving. You’ll get us killed. It has a small plastic ring at the base with a vibrator attached that lasts twenty minutes. I bought two.”

“One for each of us?” Hotch asked carefully.

“That’s the idea, but I was also worried about it just not living up to a single use. I was going to get four, but they’re pricey and we might not like them.”

“How, um,” Hotch shifted uncomfortably, “Considering what’s happened to you…”

Reid went still beside him and Hotch lost his nerve. He didn’t want to mess up what he’d only just found.

“Aaron,” Reid said softly, “We can’t tiptoe around it. I’d rather you asked than found out the hard way when I had a panic attack in bed.”

“It’s just that I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be…” Hotch hesitated, “You know what, it’s fine. I’ll get over it.”

“You’re worried about being penetrated since it’s not a role you ever thought you’d take on,” Reid stated.

“Basically, yeah,” Hotch replied, “But my hang-ups are nothing to what you’ve been through. I’ll just-“

“I’m fine with it,” Reid stated, “I was fingering myself in the shower the morning after you jerked me off. Being the receiving partner doesn’t bother me.”

“You… wow. Okay.”

“I had to make sure, you know?” Reid replied, “Honestly I’m more concerned with how I’ll react to being pinned down, but you did that already and I pretty much purred so…”

Reid shrugged and Hotch relaxed a bit, “I’m not saying never, I just don’t think that’s a level I’m ready for tonight.”

“I just want you to reach culmination this time,” Reid replied softly, his voice showing the insecurity he’d been trying to hide, “I don’t care how.”

“Me too,” Hotch sighed, giving his hand a squeeze, “Honestly, you have _no idea_ how much I want to.”

“I think I do,” Reid chuckled, “Five months, remember?”

“Well, maybe not _that_ bad,” Hotch smiled.

They pulled into Hotch’s parking space in the garage beneath the building and took the elevator up to his condo. Reid tapped his foot impatiently while Hotch tried to get back their earlier banter but couldn’t think of a thing to say. It was so much easier to flirt with Reid when sex wasn’t imminent, but when it was clearly _going_ to happen he suddenly felt sick with worry.

Reid’s hand slipped into his, “Hey. It’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Hotch replied.

“No, really. It’s fine,” He soothed, giving his hand a reasurring squeeze, “Nothing has to happen. I was teasing earlier.”

“I know. Tell me again how _you_ ended up comforting _me?_ ”

“I just want _you_ ,” Reid replied, ignoring his question.

Hotch sighed, letting some of the tension go, “I know. Thank you.”

They entered the apartment and set about getting comfortable, brushing their teeth and changing into comfortable clothes. By unspoken agreement they met on the couch and Hotch brought his porn collection.

“It’s all, well mostly, straight,” Hotch muttered, going through them.

“Ooo, Star Trek!” Reid grinned.

“There’s some lesbian stuff,” Hotch muttered, “Somewhere.”

“I’m more into straight or gay pairings,” Reid shrugged, “Two women don’t repulse me but they don’t do anything for me either. Apparently I require a penis involved at some point to enjoy porn.”

“Okay, so straight porn,” Hotch replied, shoving three disks full of only women aside, “I don’t suppose you brought any gay porn over?”

“No, didn’t occur to me. I thought it would make you uncomfortable.”

“Right. Probably,” Hotch replied, wiping his hands on his sweatpants for the third time.

“Aaron,” Reid chuckled, “Just relax already. Look, let’s skip the porn and sex and just relax on the couch together with a regular movie and popcorn. Okay?”

“No, no, we’re doing this-“

“The mood’s kind of killed at this point,” Reid pointed out.

Hotch sighed, picked out his favourite porno, and popped it into the Blu-ray player. Reid sighed as well, but his was more of a resigned sound. He stood up and poured them each a glass of wine before sinking down into the couch. He took a sip but Hotch pulled it from his hand, took a sip himself, and then started undressing him.

“Aaron, you can’t force this.”

“I don’t want to force it,” Aaron replied, “I want to touch you.”

“You don’t have to,” Reid reminded him, “I just want to _be_ in your life.”

“Spencer,” Hotch insisted, “I _legitimately_ do. I love you, and I want to hold you. Think of it this way, if we don’t get it back then you’ll be halfway to your cold shower.”

Reid smiled a bit and let Hotch undress him, gently shifting up to allow him to shimmy his pants off. Hotch smiled at the pale exposed flesh and then fetched a blanket for them. He stripped down and climbed under the blankets as well, stretching out across Reid’s slim body before hitting play. The typical scenes played through, and Hotch shifted as arousal flared up at the sight of exposed flesh and the sounds of sex. Reid snickered at a few errors in the film but after being shushed once he stopped pointing them out. Reid _was_ aroused, and Hotch watched him shift in desire, his eyes widening as the woman on the couch in the film spread her legs wide and began to finger herself. Reid’s legs spread a bit wider and Hotch rubbed himself against his thigh as desire curled in his belly.

“Do you find it incongruous that we enjoy the sight of masturbation in others but prefer to have partners touching us?”

“Not really,” Hotch replied, “There have been plenty of times I’ve preferred my own hand to Haley’s. Sometimes you know how to touch yourself better than others do.”

Reid’s eyes moved from the movie to Hotch.

“You’re not watching.”

“Yes I am,” Hotch replied, still watching Reid as he licked his lower lip.

“Teach me how you like to be touched?” Reid asked, his eyes focused on Hotch’s lips as well.

In answer Hotch leaned forward and captured Reid’s lips in a firm kiss, stroking their tongues together as they shifted closer. The woman let out a loud cry on the screen, causing Hotch to glance towards her for the first time, and Hotch pulled away before scrambling with the remote. He’d just remembered why this was his favourite. The woman on the screen resembled Haley.

“What’s wrong?” Reid worried.

“I don’t want _that_ to be how we…” Hotch flopped back down on the couch in a sitting position and rubbed at his temples in frustration. The movie was paused with the woman making a grotesque face of pleasure while the man showed off his erection for her greedy eyes. Hotch shut off the screen completely and groaned in frustration as his cock wilted completely.

“Aaron,” Reid spoke up softly, “I’d like to attempt to perform oral sex on you now.”

Hotch blinked a few times at the abrupt change, “Yeah, okay.”

“I only say attempt because I’ve never done it and-“

“Spencer,” Hotch cut him off with a fond smile, “Please, just try. I’m pent up and I _want_ this.”

“Okay,” Reid replied, shyly sliding to his knees in front of Hotch.

Hotch tried to narrow his focus. He knew sexuality was flexible and that it was rare for someone to be completely hetero or homosexual. He also _knew_ he loved Spencer Reid. His heart had ached at his absence. All he had to do now was focus on sensation and that love and he’d overcome his anxiety over facing a new sexuality and what it might mean to someday bottom to his beloved.

Hotch lowered his sweatpants and chucked off his shirt while Reid licked his lips eagerly, shifting from knee to knee before finally taking up Hotch’s limp member in his hand and teasing the head with his thumb. He glanced up at Hotch through his eyelashes and the older man’s breath caught at that eager, beautiful glance. The shy smile had his cock twitching and Reid leaned forward to press a kiss to the crown. Hotch sighed as he swelled a bit, feeling the blood start to pump south. He could _do_ this!

With his confidence rising, Reid leaned forward and lapped at the tip, his eyes lighting up as Hotch began to harden fully. Hotch sped up his breath and focused on giving Reid a sensual look, feeling a flutter of adoration as he bent to his task with more confidence. Hotch hummed in approval as his warm lips wrapped around his half-hard cock and Reid began to flick his tongue over the underside. Hotch’s cock hardened fully and he let himself relax into the couch, proud of his success as Reid began to slowly bob his head. He tried to take too much in and Hotch quickly stopped him before he could gag himself.

“Lick your hand and use that to bridge the gap between how much you can take and the rest,” Hotch advised, “Leave the deepthroating to the porno stars. It’s unrealistic and not as satisfying as it looks on the screen.”

“I just want you to feel good,” Reid said softly.

“I will. I do,” Hotch replied, putting his hand on the back of Reid’s head and pushing him back to his task, “Keep going. It doesn’t have to be film ready, it just has to be… mmm, warm and hot.”

Reid snickered around his mouthful and then began to move his head… too fast.

“Slow,” Hotch panted, grasping his long hair and guiding him, “Let me enjoy it. Too much and I’ll just fizzle out. Oh, yeah.”

Hotch’s breath was speeding up as Reid let him guide him, but now that he wasn’t fully in control he’d loosened his lips and hadn’t even figured out how to apply suction. Hotch could feel himself stuck at a plateau and was thoroughly frustrated.

“A bit…” Hotch grunted, “More…”

He released Reid’s head and with control in his favour the young man kept the speed and _finally_ tightened his lips a bit.

A bit too much.

“You’ll cut me off,” Hotch growled.

Reid’s head came up, “This isn’t working.”

“It _is_ ,” Hotch snarled in frustration. He’d been so _close_ but Reid was looking crestfallen and frustrated.

“I’m sorry,” Reid sighed, climbing into his lap, “Maybe…”

Hotch was wilting fast at the sight of a decidedly aroused young man in his lap and his growl of frustration couldn’t be suppressed. Reid winced and crawled off his lap with a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” He sagged.

“Don’t be,” Hotch rubbed at his face, “It was working, you’re just not experienced enough to…” Hotch grinned, “No one’s ever…?”

“What?” Reid asked, squirming as he gave Hotch a hopeful look.

“Has anyone ever sucked you off?” Hotch guessed.

“Well, no,” Reid blushed, and then asked with a sudden crack to his voice, “You offering?”

“You know what?” Hotch grinned, “I am.”

Hotch got down on his knees and eagerly released Reid from his trousers, finding the young man hardening again quickly. _Ah, youth._ Hotch teased the underside with his tongue, pushing back the fluttering in his belly as he worked the man until he was shifting his hips up eagerly. He steeled himself and swallowed Reid down, using a spit-dampened hand to take up the lower half of his shaft. He found he had more mouth to work with than he’d thought and cut it down to three fingers as he began to bob his head. Situating his lips and tongue took more talent than he’d expected and Reid hissed when his teeth came into play, but he was a quick study and Reid was soon panting where he sat.

“Oh gods, Aaron!” Reid cried out, “I’m… ah!”

Hotch moaned at the sound of his pleasure, excited to be thrilling a lover after so long, and that was apparently more than Reid could handle. The young man’s cock swelled more in his mouth, and just as Hotch was stilling in surprise at that new state the man grasped his hair painfully and Hotch’s mouth was flooded with salty come. Reid pulsed for a moment, crying out in pleasure while Hotch’s eyes watered and he fought down every instinct to pull away and start spitting in disgust. Then Reid went limp on the couch and Hotch found himself pulling away slowly as he recalled his lover’s tender heart. His mind analyzed the substance in his mouth, found it less disgusting than he’d expected, and he swallowed it down. The aftertaste was worse than the spunk itself but he fought down a grimace, instead smiling proudly up at the young man who gazed down at him with a look of utmost adoration and love on his face.

“You’re amazing,” Reid panted.

“I know,” Hotch smirked, sitting up and palming his own erection. Pleasuring Spencer gave him such a thrill that he was left achingly hard again, but he would soften up quickly if he didn’t give his cock something new to focus on, “Can I try something?”

“Anything,” Reid replied, giving him a hungry look.

“Roll over and tell me _the moment_ this scares you,” Hotch replied.

Reid obeyed, lying with his face pressed to the back of the couch and his arse facing Hotch. His breathing was ragged and he was shaking a bit, but he threw an eager grin over his shoulders and spread his legs. Hotch smiled back and pressed his thighs back together. He grabbed the lube from his porn box and slicked up his cock before sliding it between Reid’s thighs. He gave an experimental thrust and Reid shivered giving him a look of raw lust over his shoulder.

“You like this?” Hotch asked in surprise.

“Feeling your engorged penis seeking satisfaction between my thighs?” Reid asked, “You bet my sweet ass I do!”

Hotch gave his bottom a playful swat for the swear and began to thrust in earnest, moaning loudly as pleasure shot up his spine.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Reid purred, “I want to hear _you_ moaning, not some porn star.”

“Want to know a secret?” Hotch whispered, leaning over him with a grunt of pleasure as Reid flexed the muscles in his thighs again, “When I was nineteen I wanted to be a porn star. I even had a few amateur films.”

“Fuck,” Reid gasped, “Can I see them?”

Hotch moaned and gripped his flank tightly, thums digging into his soft bottom, “I’m close. I should warn you I get a bit… emotional… especially after a case.”

“Please,” Reid whimpered, “I just want to make you feel good. Tell me what to do.”

“Push back,” Hotch gasped.

Reid moved his hips a bit, pushing back to meet his thrusts and stealing Hotch’s breath from him. He groaned loudly, loving the way his own voice often made him more excited. The release he felt by expressing himself vocally during sex went beyond the sensual, he was allowing himself to emote on a completely different level than his daily interactions. When with someone he trusted, with a lover, he could allow himself to drop the masks and express himself enthusiastically. It was something he had sorely missed after Haley and the reason Beth had eventually left him. She just couldn’t handle his raw passion and had once laughed at him when he’d been reduced to tears during sex after a particularly hard case. She hadn’t understood. Reid would, which was why he let his head fall against his shoulders, just the tip of his cock teasing back and forth between welcoming thighs. Reid smelled of spice and books with the ever-present recycled air from the cabin of the jet gracing his hair when Hotch reached up and pulled his head back. Reid let out a strangled sound as his locks were tugged but didn’t resist. In fact he began to shift faster and grasped for Hotch’s other hand on his hip. Hotch curled his fist around Reid’s erection, sheltering it from the rough fabric of the couch as he littered Reid’s back and shoulders with heated kisses and delicate nips. Reid was chanting his name like a mantra and whimpering in need. He choked out a sob and Hotch joined him, letting the tears fall as his pleasure washed out the pain of all the horrid images they saw each day. Reid’s hand moved back, trying to catch Hotch’s head to hold him in some way. He leaned further forward to allow it and Reid caught the back of his head, but his cock slipped out from his thighs. Reid quickly squirmed to angle out his legs, tucking them beneath the coffee table so he was up on his toes with his legs straight out behind him as if doing one of his much-dreaded push-ups. Hotch eagerly straddled his thighs, squatting over him with his far more superior physical prowess, and thrust fast and hard between his soft, slick flesh. Reid was holding him pressed against the back of his head, his hot breath panting against his ear as moans and sobs were torn out of him indiscriminately.

Then he was coming, head thrown back as he let out a cry that was part scream and part feral growl, incidentally pulling his own hair against Reid’s tight grip. Beneath him Reid moaned out an affirmative as Hotch’s hot seed shot against the back of his balls, between his thighs, and dripped onto the floor. Reid’s hips kept working even as his shaking knees dropped back to the ground in obvious relief. Hotch braced himself up on one knee and kept working Reid’s straining cock.

“Come on, Spencer. Give it up to me,” Hotch growled, “Don’t make me get the vibrating condoms.”

Reid chuckled a bit and then bit back a moan, his face pressed into the couch cushions.

“Can’t.”

“Yes you can,” Hotch snarled, “Now _come_ for me.”

Reid cried out sharply and a few more pumps had him twitching in Hotch’s hand, wringing a few drops of release from him before the man sagged in his arms. He gently turned Reid so they were both sitting on the floor with Reid in his lap, his head thrown back against Hotch’s shoulder.

“Oh gods,” Reid whimpered, “I don’t think I can move.”

“You’re amazing.”

“I had no idea I could feel so many emotions at once while experiencing sexual release. It’s always blanked out my brain in the past.”

“I knew,” Hotch replied, kissing the side of his neck and tasting his own tears, “I think it scared Beth off. Some people don’t appreciate having their lover cry all over them during sex.”

“I appreciate you doing _anything_ with me in bed. Including sleeping. Can we sleep now?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” Hotch chuckled, “Yes, we can sleep. Do you need help walking?”

“I think I need to be carried,” Reid replied, his voice shocked, “My legs _hurt_.”

“That was quite the position for someone of your athletic ability,” Hotch replied with a smirk.

“I think you mean _in_ ability,” Reid groaned, getting shakily to his feet.

“I was trying to be nice,” Hotch smirked.

“Can I have a massage?”

“Sure,” Hotch snickered, “There’s a parlour down the street. Help yourself.”

“I thought you loved me,” Reid groused as he put an arm around Hotch’s shoulders and struggled towards the bedroom.

“I do, but first I have to clean up that mess we left all over the couch and floor before our son comes home.”

Reid froze in alarm, stiffening up completely so that Hotch had to stop as well.

“It’s fine,” Hotch chuckled, “I have this protein-eliminating spray. It’s not like it’s the first time… What?”

“You said ‘our’,” Reid stated, looking up at him with eyes that were somewhere between wounded and hopeful.

“Sorry?”

“You said ‘our son’,” Reid choked, “Aaron, you can’t say that if you don’t-“

“I mean it. I mean, it was unintentional, but I meant it. This isn’t temporary. I know it’s fast, but I can’t picture a day without you,” Hotch turned to face Reid, “Spencer, I haven’t felt this way for someone since Haley. I know five months is fast, and that I wasn’t even _aware_ we were dating at first, but this is your home and I’m your partner now.”

Hotch pulled him in for an intense kiss and Reid sagged against him, both arms tight around his shoulders as he whimpered with overwhelmed emotion. Hotch stroked their tongues together gently and then slowly pulled back.

“Bed. Sleep. You’ll feel more yourself in the morning.”

Reid staggered off, giving him one last giddy smile over his shoulder before heading into the bedroom. Hotch smiled after Reid and headed for the living room to clean up the mess they’d left. He felt warm all over and it wasn’t just from having finally had successful sex with Reid. It was the knowledge that Reid would be there in the morning, the comfort of a routine, the high of being loved, and even the slightly shocking reality of having his lover’s come sloshing around in his belly. He was half afraid he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but as he slipped into the bed and slotted himself against his snoring lover he felt complete peace slide into place as well.


	9. Chapter 9

Reid woke up to the sound of Jack and Hotch laughing in the kitchen. He donned his lover’s robe and walked out to smile at the sight of them making breakfast together. They both had pancake batter all over them and it didn’t look accidental. There was a tray table sitting on top of the table with a glass of milk, orange juice, and a napkin on it.

“Oh!” Jack whined, “I wanted to surprise you!”

Reid laughed a bit, “Sorry. I tend to wake up early.”

“Well, let’s take it to the bed anyway. I want a cuddly breakfast with my boys,” Hotch smiled warmly.

Jack cheered and Reid helped them finish breakfast, load it onto a tray, and carry it into the bedroom. They sat around it like a table and shared a plate together, munching happily while laughing and chatting with Jack about school. The young man was relieved to have Spencer back and cuddled into his side happily while Reid stroked his cheek lovingly.

Hotch hesitated a moment, fork poised between plate and mouth, and then put it down with a firm gesture.

“Jack, I need your help with something today. Do you think you can unglue yourself from Spencer’s side to come with me on a trip?”

Jack shook his head, giving his father a teasing smile. Hotch and Reid chuckled at him.

“What about if it’s an adventure?” Hotch asked, raising his eyebrows and tipping his face forward to goad him on.

“Maybe,” Jack replied, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, “What _kind_ of adventure.”

“A treasure hunt,” Hotch replied.

“Cool!” Jack crowed.

“Very cool,” Reid smiled, “Can I come too?”

“Sorry,” Hotch shook his head, giving Reid a teasing smile, “I’m afraid this is Jack and Aaron hunt, but next time I _promise_ you’ll go along. This time I have a separate adventure for you.”

“Which is?” Reid asked.

“You need to search for an island to bury our treasure on,” Hotch nodded to the listings printed out on his nightstand.

“Alone?” Reid frowned.

“You know what we need,” Hotch replied, “I trust you. It will be faster this way and we’re running out of time. Our lease is out next week.”

“Okay,” Reid replied, pointing between them both, “But I want full details of your adventure when we get together for dinner tonight.”

“You got it, Spence!” Jack promised, holding out his hand so they could slap each other ‘five’.

XXX

Reid spent the next five hours driving from one condo to another, and a few different apartments as well. Hotch was more interested in a condo, something that he could paint and renovate the inside of himself, but Reid saw more potential in the apartments he viewed. Finally he decided on a three bedroom flat with a fireplace and tile floors. Jack could be as rough with it as he wanted and the fireplace would sooth Hotch’s ire over not being able to paint the walls himself. When a condo came up with a fireplace or some similarly nice option they’d move again.

XXX

Jack had been confused at first, but after taking him to the library and reading him a few books about kids who had two daddies he was now excited. After that, Hotch and Jack took their time, going from jewellery store to jewellery store, debating the merits of what would work best for Reid. Finally [a ring caught his eye](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/49/0c/7d/490c7d638e20b6d08682ca1ace0d01be.jpg), but he couldn’t recall why it made him think of Reid until Jack had pointed out that it was from a television show he watched with Reid.

“Daddy! Those are the symbols in the TARDIS!”

“The what, then?” Hotch frowned.

“The TARDIS! You know, from Doctor Who?”

“Oh, that’s right! Wow, they’re very attractive.”

“We make them in titanium, gold, white gold, and tungsten,” The shop keeper informed, “I recommend the tungsten, personally. It’s the best one for tinting it that lovely shade of blue. The engraving is included in the price.”

The man pushed a book full of prices towards him and Hotch frowned at them, “We’re really looking for an engagement ring…”

“We have one that might interest you,” He spoke up quickly, “If your paramour watches Doctor Who we suggest safire rings with diamond-“

“It’s for a man,” Hotch cut him off quickly as he waved him towards a grouping of thin bands, “I wouldn’t care, and neither would he, but the work we do requires sturdiness.”

“Ah, in that case let me check the back. I _might_ have one left that will be perfect!”

The man brought out a ring designed to look like [the door from the TARDIS](http://whengeekswed.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/doctor-who-ring.jpg), thick and sturdy and definitely perfect for one Dr. Spencer Reid.

“Dad,” Jack whispered in obvious awe.

“We’ll take it,” Hotch declared, “What size is it? Can it be sized? I measured him while he was sleeping and he’s an 8.”

“Ah, this one is eleven. We’d have to cut it to alter it that severely. We have two more in the back, let me check for you.”

Hotch drummed his fingers frantically against the glass. He _had_ to have that ring. He was recalling an episode of Doctor Who he’d watched with Reid and the way he’d swooned over the doctor and his relationship with the TARDIS. It was perfect.

“We don’t have it here,” The man stated, coming out from the back, “But-“

“Call your other stores until you find one,” Hotch ordered sharply.

“Right away, sir.”

“Dad!” Jack hissed, “You forgot to say please!”

 _“_ Please,” Hotch ground out.

The man got on the phone and computer, working fast until he returned to them with a triumphant smile.

“I found one in Dale City. We can have it shipped to…”

“I’ll pick it up. Send the address to my cell phone,” Hotch ordered, turning sharply and heading for the door.

“Sir!” The man called, “I haven’t got your cell phone number.”

Hotch sighed, “I forget you don’t work for me.”

“I’d noticed,” He replied dryly.

Hotch smothered a smirk and took the man’s hand written note instead before walking out the door with Jack hot on his heels throwing the man a cheery goodbye. He checked his watch and realized he’d be late to dinner with Reid, so he sent him a text telling him to relax on his own and that they’d join him in time for Jack’s bedtime. He also promised them both a zoo trip the next day, assuming that a case didn’t interrupt them. Then he turned on the radio to Jack’s favourite station and started singing along to Disney songs as they headed out for a half hour drive to Dale.

XXX

Jack and Hotch came into the house exuberant and happy, both of them looking triumphant. That was stolen when they saw the look on Reid’s face. He was sitting on the couch, wrapped tightly in blankets, face pale and hand clutching a glass of wine.

“What happened?” Hotch asked immediately.

“Nightmare,” Reid replied softly, his eyes unfocused, “Fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. Dreamt it happened _here._ ”

Hotch felt that familiar, helpless, molten range in his stomach.

“What happened?” Jack asked.

“A fight,” Hotch simplified, “Remember how Spencer came here because someone hurt him?”

“Is he going to be sick again?” Jack asked worriedly.

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you get him a bowl from the kitchen.”

“I’ll get him the blue sick bowl. It’s the one I use,” Jack decided, and Reid smiled softly. Months ago Jack had refused to share the bowl his mother had dubbed ‘Jack’s Sick Bowl’, leaving Reid to pick up a cheap one in case he didn’t make it to the bathroom. Now he was apparently ready to share.

Hotch joined Reid on the couch, “Do you want me to put him to bed?”

“No,” Reid replied, “I’d like to distract myself. Can he stay up with us? Maybe watch a movie?”

“How about the next How to Train Your Dragon movie?” Hotch suggested with a smile, “You loved the first one.”

Reid smiled and the fog in his eyes lifted a bit, so Hotch keyed on the player and Jack joined them with the sick bowl. He cuddled up to Reid’s side while Hotch headed into the kitchen to pop them some corn and collect a glass of Jack Daniels for himself and a glass of juice for Jack. He joined them on the couch after convincing both boys to scoot down so he could sit on Reid’s other side. Once Reid was settled against his chest with Hotch’s arm protectively around him the movie started and they let themselves drift in fantasy world of Berk. Eventually Jack fell asleep and Hotch slipped free to carry him to bed, returning to wrap himself around Reid again.

“You didn’t tell me about your adventure,” Reid murmured as he burrowed into Hotch’s shoulder.

“I think it should wait at this point,” Hotch replied, “It was an important adventure and I want Jack there when I tell you. Maybe we should even wait until we’ve moved. How did house-hunting go?”

“I found an apartment. None of the condos were what you wanted. I paid first and last so we can move in whenever you’re ready.”

“How about we burn off some of that anxiety by packing?” Hotch suggested.

“Yeah,” Reid smiled as he sat up, “I’d like that.”

They spent about three hours packing up Hotch’s room and the living room, each of them taking a room and coming in on occasion to chat with the other about whether or not something should be kept. They decided that Reid’s more conservative furnishings would be perfect for the office they’d have in their new home. A few more decisions like that and they were soon yawning more than talking. Hotch pulled Reid into bed and they passed out in each other’s arm, too exhausted to dream.

XXX

Hotch was sure that Reid knew something was up, but the fact of the matter was he’d developed a nasty case of cold feet shortly after buying the ring. He was worried he was moving too fast for Reid, but Jack was perfectly able to keep a secret- unlike most young boys- so it was just a matter of timing. He needed to be _sure_ they were both ready. He knew now that he could get off with Reid, but as they packed up in between cases it soon became obvious that Hotch couldn’t _always_ finish. Sometimes he couldn’t even start. Reid started pulling away whenever Hotch was unable to become erect but disdained the idea of using medication. He also refused couples counselling. Reid insisted that there was nothing _wrong_ with Hotch being straight, so if sex was off the table, it was off the table. Hotch was determined it not be, but that didn’t stop him from leaping on it one day when a young man flirted with Reid at a sandwich shop. He texted Reid to go for it and Reid gave him a worried glance, but then gave the young man his number… in Roman numerals. He threw it out on his way out the door and Reid shrugged happily.

“Would you really be okay with me dating?” Reid asked, his tone playful.

“I want what’s best for you,” Hotch replied, “That might not be me. Not in all aspects. We agreed to keep our relationship open for your sake.”

“ _You_ agreed,” Reid shrugged, “I did nothing of the sort.”

“Spencer,” Hotch sighed, “I can’t do this. I’m trying, but you’re unfulfilled.”

“I’ll deal,” Reid replied, “Compromise, remember?”

“That _was_ the compromise that just walked out the door.”

“He wasn’t smart enough for me.”

“ _I’m_ not smart enough for you.”

“Maybe that’s your problem,” Reid replied, “You asked me once if you lacked confidence in the bedroom; maybe you do. Maybe you’re too busy wondering how to get a young genius off that you’re not focusing on getting _yourself_ off.”

“And when I asked you that you said no,” Hotch snapped irritably.

“Okay, I have an idea,” Reid smiled eagerly, accepting their order and paying the man. He continued the discussion as they walked out the door, “What if for the next three days it’s all about you.”

“I don’t-“

“Hear me out,” Reid stopped him with a hand on his chest so Hotch turned to face him, “For the next three days nothing touches my nether regions. It’s all about you. I’ll do anything and everything to get you off, but _I’m_ going to wait until day four. On day four we try mutual stimulation again and if it works all is well. If not… we’ll know what to do from there.”

“Yes, therapy,” Hotch sighed, “Because if I’m able to get aroused when you’re focused on me but not when I’m focused on you-“

“Then we’ll know it’s more about your sexuality than performance anxiety,” Reid replied, “Which is _fine_. You’re entitled to be straight. Or mostly straight, as it were.”

“Thanks,” Hotch huffed, “Okay, I’ll agree to this, but only under one condition.”

“That would be?” Reid asked.

“You actively look for a date during this time period. Okay?”

“Fine,” Reid sighed, “Deal.”

They shook on it and the little blue box in Hotch’s pocket burned as hot as a star.


	10. Chapter 10

Hotch sat on the edge of the bed and panted as Reid worked his shaft, suckling him firmly. It had taken a while to work Hotch up to full hardness, but now that he was there he was thoroughly enjoying having a blowjob. It had been too long since Beth and while he had enjoyed doing this to Reid the man was inexperienced and their previous attempts had been less than stellar. Without the stress of his own performance on the line and without any expectation that Hotch would enjoy it, Reid was finding his motions and Hotch suddenly found himself gasping in pleasure.

Hotch didn’t bother to hold back the sounds of pleasure that cascaded out of his mouth. He had no shame with Reid. They had seen each other at their worst, there was no way they’d hold off on enjoying each other. Hotch let out a sharp cry as Reid applied a bit of teeth, but it was done experimentally, carefully controlled in order to give him pleasure rather than pain. It worked, and Hotch felt himself approaching orgasm for the first time since _their_ first time, and Reid moaning around his cock was enough to bring him to climax.

Reid stood up, proud and grinning as he wiped his hand over his mouth. His cock was hard and on display for Hotch’s parusal, but when the man reached for him Hotch shifted back.

“Uh, uh, uh,” Reid teased, “You lay one finger on my dick and I’ll cancel my date for tomorrow.”

“What about other parts of you?” Hotch purred.

“Only if it’s your cock going inside,” Reid winked, darting out of the way when Hotch tried to grab for him, “We had a deal! Cheeky.”

“I want to see you,” Hotch growled, standing on shaking legs, “I want to see you calling out for me. I want to see you fall apart. Moan in pleasure. Shake while you come hard all over yourself.”

“That’s not what I want,” Reid soothed, holding out his hands, “What I want is to feel you come _inside_ me. Or to bury myself inside you… someday.”

Hotch faltered, his confidence dropping, “I don’t know if I’ll ever…”

“Then I’ll be content without,” Reid replied, stepping forward to stroke his cheek with one hand, “Aaron, I love you. I was willing to love you from a distance if I’d turned up positive. Hearing I was negative meant my _entire life_ was handed back to me. It meant that I had a _chance_ to love and be loved completely in return. Your _love_ is what matters to me. The sex is just a bonus. If we never go full penetrative it’s not like other gay couples haven’t done that. Some guys just don’t like it, you know.”

“You do,” Hotch sighed, “You forget I’ve seen your toy collection.”

Reid blushed, “Well… maybe someday you’ll use some of them on me.”

Hotch made a face, but he nodded his understanding.

“Spencer, you say my love is enough, then why push this? I love seeing you climax. I’m fine if it goes one way.”

“If you say my climaxing at your hands is enough, then why push me to have other lovers?” Reid challenged.

“Don’t deflect.”

“Don’t push me away,” Reid replied, “You’re body is mine for the next three days. Now lie down and get some sleep. I didn’t use my vacation time up for fun, you know.”

“Well, not _your_ fun,” Hotch teased, but he fell back into the bed with a sigh anyway, “What are you hoping to accomplish with this?”

“Aside from getting to enjoy you? I’m hoping to chase away that pesky fear of your sexuality. I’m hoping that a bit of T.L.C. and S.E.X. will let you relax with me. At the moment you enjoy me when you get overwhelmed with arousal, so for a bit now we’re just going to overwhelm you. I’m hoping that it will eventually have a Pavlovian effect on you and this whole ‘I’m straight’ thing will stop running through your head and stopping the bloodflow south.”

“If that fails?” Hotch yawned, not really believing it would work.

“I’ll throw you a coming out party with the gayest men I can find in Virginia.”

“What?” Hotch sat up, eyes narrowed as his lover stretched out beside him.

“Yup. The absolute gayest of the gay. From butch gay to bitch gay. By the time they leave you’ll be limp wristed and loose assed or my name isn’t Doctor Spencer Reid, Special Supervisory Agent.”

Reid winked and Hotch scowled. He couldn’t tell if Reid was putting him on or not.

“I’d hate that.”

“You would,” Reid nodded, “But it might get through your homophobia.”

“I’m not homophobic,” Hotch replied quickly.

“You’re afraid of how the world- specifically unsubs and your bosses- would view you if they knew you were with a man. That’s homophobic. Perhaps not the classic definition because you’re _obviously_ not scared, but it’s still aversion.”

“So you’re going to try immersion therapy on me?” Hotch sighed, “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“It will,” Reid replied, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to prepare for your next seduction.”

Hotch sighed and rolled over. He couldn’t believe Reid was being this insistent, but he loved him and he’d try anything to make their relationship work. He just hoped that Reid wasn’t going to leave him at the end of all of this. As nervous as he was about the next few days he was also relaxed from coming so hard, so he was soon sinking into sleep.

When Hotch woke up it was to feel hand smoothing over his body once again. He smiled contentedly and stretched like a cat before opening his eyes to see Reid smiling down at him.

“Morning handsome.”

“Not quite,” Reid chuckled, “It’s around two in the morning. I wanted us to be able to take Jack to the zoo today.”

“And you thought if I was exhausted beyond belief that would be an asset to our trip?”

“No,” Reid chuckled, “But I _did_ think I’d have more time if I went after you twice a night. Trust me, you’ll be fine. The release of testosterone will have you sleeping like a baby seconds after ejaculation.”

“As long as that doesn’t insult you,” Hotch stretched again.

“Why would it insult me? Coming makes me sleepy too.”

“That explains why you’re not sleeping.”

“I’m too excited to sleep… in more ways than one,” Reid winked, “You cleaned up like I’d asked earlier?”

“Yeah,” Hotch felt a fission of anxiety go through him, “I’m ready for you.”

Reid chuckled, “I’m not going to top you, honey. Relax. Just a bit of fun.”

Reid winked at him and then climbed between his legs, gripping them beneath his knees and lifting them up.

“Umm,” Hotch muttered, “Maybe…”

“Relax,” Reid ordered, then dropped his head beneath Hotch’s bollocks and nuzzled against his arse, “At the very least relax your ass. I can’t even get in here.”

“That’s sort of the point,” Hotch grumbled, but forced himself to relax.

Hotch felt Reid’s tongue circle around his pucker and squirmed a bit in disgust. Reid hoisted his legs higher and began to flick his tongue around against his furled hole. Hotch gasped as his nerve endings lit up and pleasure began to shoot up his spine. Hotch gripped the sheets on either side of his body and his legs clenched spasmodically as he began to writhe in an attempt to get _more_ of his lover’s attention against a part of his body he’d had no idea included a connection to his cock. He was gasping and moaning loudly before he’d even given his mouth permission to start. His cock was hard and pressed against his belly where his body curled to give Reid access. Reid pointed his tongue and pressed inside, holding that for a second and then beginning to thrust him in imitation of what he knew his lover truly wanted to do. Hotch felt fire shoot up his spine and explosions of light lit up his brain. He knew some men enjoyed this, and Reid had explained about his prostate, but if it felt this good without his p-spot even being touched…

“Okay,” Hotch gasped, “Okay. I’m on board with the things in my ass scenario. Spencer… please… just… fuck me already.”

Reid lowered his ass back to the bedding and Hotch arched his back, grinding it down into the bedding as his flesh clenched around the absence of it’s former intrusion. Reid pulled open the bedside drawer and fished out lubricant and a vibrating condom. Hotch grinned and started to roll over, but Reid stopped him with a hand on his hip.

“Not this time,” Reid replied, “I doubt I’ll be able to hold myself back. This is for you.”

“But… my butt?” Hotch mentally flailed.

“Was delicious,” Reid snickered, “But that was just a warm up. I want you inside me and thinking of what it will be like to be on the receiving end while you watch me ride you… and love every second of it.”

Hotch licked his lips, “I can do that. What you did.”

“Eat my ass?” Reid smirked.

Hotch shivered at the filthy words, “I prefer rimming, but yeah. I’ve done it before.”

“That’s great, because I’ve always wanted to experience that, but this isn’t about me. It’s about you. I’m already prepared and ready to _slide_ down your fat cock.”

Reid wriggled a bit in obvious anticipation, then tore the condom wrapper off and rolled it down Hotch’s twitching cock. The base was unwieldy and the larger part settled against his balls. Reid turned the vibration on and Hotch grunted. It didn’t stimulate him overmuch. Instead it felt rather odd, leaving him unsure if he liked it or not. Then Reid shifted from between his legs to straddling them and Hotch was too distracted by the slick hand sliding up and down his shaft. He moaned hungrily and Reid gave him a firm squeeze before moving up his body, his own slender cock bobbing and dripping with desire. Reid was clearly aching for release and Hotch found himself hoping this would be enough to bring him off.

“I’m going to,” Reid panted, as he angled Hotch’s cock towards his entrance, “I’m going to… um… guide you to hit my prostate once, but after that I have to move away or I’ll come.”

“I want you to come,” Hotch growled, and then lost himself in a long, agonized groan as Reid slid down his cock as if he’d fitted over him for all time, “Oh gods… just… stay still. It… it… took longer with Haley.”

“Yeah,” Reid panted, “I’m pretty used to stretching myself. I’m… mmmmm… I’m good at it.”

“Yeah,” Hotch wheezed, still trying to hold himself off from orgasm. The thought of Reid fingering himself open or using one of those toys from his little box of kink. Hotch’s mind flipped through the contents he’d curiously perused and settled on the sight of what he vaguely thought was called a plug. He’d used his fingers on Haley, but the thought of pushing that angular toy into Reid’s body was… “Fuck!”

“Hold on,” Reid soothed, running a hand up and down the middle of his chest, “Is it tight?”

“Yeah. I’m not… I’m not as close as I sound, I’m just…” Hotch opened his eyes and let the emotion shine through. This wasn’t as much about lust as it was about _love._ He was inside the man he loved and the very idea was overwhelming him. He was stuck between wanting to weep and wanting to roll him over and take him fast and hard… and wanting to run. Wanting to run from the fact he was afraid he would disappoint Reid the way he’d disappointed Haley, and this time with his body as well as his mind.

“Shhh,” Reid soothed gently, then leaned forward to kiss both his closed eyes, “It’s okay. Let it out. Bask in me. I’m yours, Aaron, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Their lips meant and Hotch’s arms wrapped tightly around Reid’s body, holding him against him as his hips slid slowly back and then up again. Reid whimpered but Hotch knew the sound was a good one, so he moved once more, planting his feet so he could lift his ass up off the bed and glide his cock slowly out of Reid’s body. He thrust up hard and Reid let out a strangled sound, his cock twitching between them.

“So much for showing you where my prostate is,” Reid panted, “Aaron… you have to let me sit up…”

“Nooo,” Hotch groaned, pistoning into him faster.

Reid pushed up with his arms and down with his hips on one of Hotch’s upward thrusts and the pleasure was too much for the older man. He fell back, panting and grasping at Reid’s hips as the young man sat on him buried balls deep with his muscles milking Hotch’s cock. Hotch swore and clawed at Reid’s thighs, his eyes rolling back in his head as he hovered on the edge of release. Reid waited until he got himself under control, and when he opened his eyes he saw a truly magnificent sight. Reid was flushed; his face damp with perspiration, and his half-lidded eyes were glazed with lust. Ried panted through parted, kiss-swollen lips; lips that had been pressed to Hotch’s most intimate parts not long ago.

Reid’s eyes fluttered shut, his head fell back, and he pushed up with his feet. Hotch gasped as Reid’s body clenched him on the way up and then groaned as he sank back down. Hotch reached down, hardly able to believe this moment was happening, and gripped Reid’s arse tightly in his hand. He moved his fingers back until he could feel the point where his cock vanished inside of Reid’s body. The flesh moved around his shaft and the surrealness of the situation abated just a bit. This was happening. He was making love with Reid, Reid was making love with him, and every time those eyes flickered open he could see the adoration in his eyes.

Hotch groaned as his erection throbbed. The vibrating condom seemed to be doing more for Reid who was grasping at his thighs and panting in obvious pleasure despite the fact he was _supposed_ to be leaning away from his prostate. Perhaps he wasn’t? Hotch rolled his hips experimentally and Reid let out a strangled cry. Hotch gasped as the young man’s body fluttered and suckled at the older man’s cock. Hotch panted as Reid gripped his cock at the base, staving off his release. Hotch couldn’t take it anymore. If Reid was going to torture himself he’d let him. Hotch thrust up a few times and came with a relieved groan. Reid let out a soft whimper and fell forward over him, slipping forward enough to get away from Hotch’s still vibrating member. Hotch hissed at the overstimulation and fumbled for the thing, tossing it over the side of the bed in relief.

“That…” Reid gasped, “Wow. That. Wow.”

“Let me-“

“No. Just a second. I’m going to calm down and then we’re going to just… cuddle a bit. Okay? No sex for me.”

Hotch relaxed into the bed, unwilling to argue after having come twice in such a short time. His muscles were lax and sore all at the same time. His body warmed by his lover above him. Reid’s wraithlike body was a comfort in ways he’d long forgotten. He wanted him to always be within reach so he could simply put out a hand and touch a lock of hair or a pale arm.

“I love you so much,” Hotch whispered, “Thank you for doing this for me, for loving me, for being the man I need.”

“I’ll always be yours,” Reid replied softly, “And I can only try to be good enough to deserve you after all you’ve done for me.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Sure you have,” Reid lifted his head and gave Hotch a tired smile, “Aaron, you _stayed_. That was what I needed more than anything. It kept me from going crazy, from reaching a point where dilauded was the only option left. You kept me grounded.”

“I’d do it again,” Hotch replied, “A thousand times over, if only it meant that you hadn’t had to suffer at his hands.”

“I know,” Reid settled his head against Hotch’s chest again, “Still, it brought us together. I can’t regret that, even if I _do_ wish I could drink coffee again.”

“In time,” Hotch soothed, rubbing his back, “If I can adjust to having a man in my bed you can recover from your fears as well.”

“I think they’re a different sort of fear.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean to be-“

“It’s fine,” Reid cut him off, “I’m just saying it’s going to take a _lot_ longer. Are you bothered by it?”

“No. I just want you to be happy.”

“And I, you,” Reid sighed contentedly.

Hotch drifted to sleep not long after, so deep in dreamland that he didn’t even feel Reid leave to clean up or return for a snuggle. He just rolled over and held the young man for the rest of the night. Reid woke early and made breakfast, which Hotch was grateful for after all the energy he’d expended, and they got ready to spend the day with their son.


	11. Chapter 11

Despite being on vacation they weren’t relaxing overmuch. When they got back from the zoo they sat a tuckered out Jack on the couch and got to packing up his room and the kitchen. That was an experiment to say the least. Hotch discovered some alarming types of mold growth underneath of Jack’s bed on what appeared to be the remains of meals and snacks. Hotch wanted to throw them out, but Reid preserved two for his own use. Apparently he thought they were fascinating. At least he kept them in a sealed container. They left Jack only with the bare essentials sitting in a suitcase. They’d finish the next day and start moving into their new home. Hotch felt like they couldn’t get out fast enough. They needed a clean start. He wanted a place where Reid could make new, good memories with Hotch and Jack. This was the place he’d suffered unbearable depression and illness, and Hotch wanted him out and all of them into a safe zone.

Then it was time for Reid’s date and Hotch found himself suddenly anxious. What if Reid realized that Hotch was too old and phobic for him? That he deserved better? Worse yet, what if he ended up going out with another rapist?

“Where will you be going with this…?” Hotch let the sentence hang. They were sitting in their bedroom and Reid was dressed in one of his work suits with a blue bowtie that brought out his eyes.

“His name is Jeremy,” Reid replied, “And we’re going to Pedro’s.”

“You hate Mexican.”

“I like some of it,” Reid shrugged, “I just prefer Argentinean.”

“Seeing as how I’m… your partner…” Hotch started.

“Yes?” Reid asked, giving him a smug smile in the mirror.

“I’m not telling you _not_ to go, I _want_ you to go. This was my idea, remember?”

“I can’t forget,” Reid sighed, “So what are you thinking about, hm? What’s going through your handsome mind?”

“I’m worried for your safety.”

“I haven’t got a history of dating dangerous or abusive men,” Reid replied with a snort, “You’ve no reason to be worried.”

“Okay,” Hotch replied, tone tense.

“You can come if you like, but you’d probably just cock block me,” Reid replied with an amused smirk over his shoulder, “Unintentionally, of course.”

“Of course,” Hotch smiled angrily.

They headed out into the living room where Reid pecked his cheek and then Jack’s before heading for the door.

“Where you going, Spence?” Jack asked eagerly.

“Well… uh…” Reid started hesitantly.

“He’s going to Pedro’s,” Hotch spat out without thinking.

“I _love_ Pedro’s!” Jack crowed, “Can we go, too?! Can we? Can we? _Please?_ ”

“Well,” Hotch pretended to be uncertain, “Uncle Spence is sort of set on going alone so…”

“Yeah, I’m really _not_ all that set on going alone so…”

“Of course, we could just sit at a different table,” Hotch suggested, “You wouldn’t mind, would you Spence?”

“Not at all,” Reid laughed.

XXX

Reid sat across from his date trying not to fall asleep while his anxiety levels dropped into pits of boredom. He’d lied about being worried about going out alone. He wanted Hotch there with him, but he _didn’t_ want him sitting at a different table. He didn’t think they needed to keep their relationship open, but if they were going to than he’d rather Hotch were involved. He wanted his beloved by his side vetting someone with him, someone they could both tolerate. He’d hate to fall in love with someone Hotch couldn’t stand to at least barbecue with on occasion.

Instead, Hotch was sitting at a booth across the room from them, casually watching Reid out of the corner of his eye while joking around with Jack. They’d gotten there first so his date had _no_ idea and Reid wasn’t cluing him in. He’d turned the napkin dispenser so the reflective surface let him watch Hotch. His date was boring. Good looking, but boring. Boring and _stupid_. Reid fell for minds, not bodies, but he didn’t require genius to be in love. He required someone to not be a flaming idiot. This man was both and Reid was _frustrated_.

Reid needed Hotch to make up his mind and make it up fast, so he reached out over dessert and hesitantly took the man’s hand. He saw those pretty eyes light up and his smile in response was genuine. He was only human, after all. A flesh and blood human, whose blood was quickly heading into the flesh between his thighs. Reid leaned forward- just for show and not at _all_ in the hopes he’d whisper something filthy- when he saw Hotch’s image flicker out of the corner of his eyes. The man was headed over and _fast._

“I’m really, really sorry,” Reid whispered.

“Huh?” Brainless uttered, right before Jack…

Wait… _Jack?_

Jack grabbed the napkin dispenser off the table and nearly slammed it into Reid’s date’s face before Hotch could grab his arm.

“I am _so_ sorry,” Hotch spat out, dragging Jack backwards as he swung his arm wildly in an attempt to brain the Witless Wonder.

“Whoa, little dude,” Idiot stammered, “What’s the problem?”

“He’s just a bit-“ Hotch tried to say.

“Get away from my daddy’s wife!” Jack howled.

“ _Excuse me_?” Reid squeaked, his voice cracking in shock and insult.

“Jack, we’ll talk about this later,” Hotch snarled, “I’m so sorry gentlemen, please excuse us.”

“Wait,” Dumbass stammered, “Are you a _woman?_ ”

“What? No!” Reid snapped, “I’m-“

“Cause I don’t date no bitches,” Moron spat out viciously.

“I’m pre-op,” Reid replied quickly, “But I can promise you I can give you the D in two years time.”

The man gave him a look of absolute disgust and stood up, throwing his napkin down on the table. Reid smiled and finished his dessert in peace while Hotch whispered something at Jack at the nearby table. He couldn’t overhear them, but Jack wasn’t crying so he figured it was handled. He’d interrogate Hotch later.

The car ride home was tense, but eventually Reid just decided to go straight to the source.

“Why did you call me your dad’s wife?” Reid asked.

“Spencer, don’t. You don’t have to answer that, Jack,” Hotch replied, “Spence, he’s embarrassed.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Reid replied, “It’s completely understandable that he’s confused about my role in our relationship since we haven’t explained it to him. I assume you haven’t explained it to him?”

“I… started to…” Hotch started.

“Then surely you explained to him that I’m _not_ female,” Reid stated.

“I’ll talk to him again tonight,” Hotch snapped, “If you keep this up you’ll upset Jack.”

“I just don’t see wh-“

“Please don’t get divorced!” Jack called out from the back seat.

Hotch and Reid fell silent.

“We’re not getting divorced,” Hotch said softly.

“People who aren’t married can’t get divorced, Jack,” Reid replied, assuming that would sooth him.

It failed miserably and Jack started to sniffle in the back seat.

“Now see what you’ve done?” Hotch sighed.

“Um… what I mean is…”

“Stop it!” Jack wailed, “That’s what you said to mommy all the time! Don’t do it again! It always made her sad!”

“What did I just say that always upset mommy?” Hotch asked, “Spencer and I don’t talk about the same things your mommy and I-“

“Blaming each other for the child’s distress is typical deflection behaviour in parents,” Reid cut in, “They use the excuse of the child’s presence to try and end arguments which results in the child feeling as if they were the cause of the divorce, not to mention creating feelings of resentment towards the child by the parent who is being deflected.”

Hotch was silent a moment.

“Spencer, Jack, I apologize. I don’t want to discuss this right now, but I _will_ explain things in full to Jack tonight. It was a misunderstanding, but I won’t let it get in the way of our relationship. Jack, Spencer isn’t going anywhere. I love him, and he loves me. Okay?”

“Okay, Daddy,” Jack said softly.

“My divorce with your mother was _our_ fault, not yours,” Hotch insisted, “Your mother and I couldn’t work things out, but I won’t let that happen again. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Alright,” Reid agreed, accepting the hand Hotch held out. The older man pulled Reid’s hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“Thank you. I don’t want to repeat my mistakes with you. You’re important to me.”

XXX

They collapsed into bed and Hotch was asleep before Reid could get fresh with him. Reid must have been tired as well because he didn’t protest. In the morning Hotch woke up to find Reid already up and about, but he wasn’t making breakfast. He was staring at a laptop with narrowed eyes. Hotch could hear the music and it wasn’t something he wanted Jack to listen to. He walked over with a frown, knowing Jack wouldn’t be up but wanting to tell Reid that porn wasn’t okay outside of the bedroom when their son was around. He froze when he saw what Reid was watching.

“What… what is that?” Hotch asked.

“A drag queen.”

“I see that. What’s he-she-he-she-“

“They?”

“What is they doing?” Hotch asked, and then winced at the grammar change, “Are they doing?”

“Pole dancing.”

“Okay. Um… Jack’s right in the next room and…”

“I’m dressed and listening for him, but I agree this isn’t appropriate. It won’t happen again,” Reid shut the laptop off and stood up, his erection prominent in his sweatpants, “Let’s take a shower together.”

“Okay,” Hotch replied with a nod, “Just let me shut off the laptop.”

Hotch opened it again and stared as the person on the screen gyrated beautifully. They had a similar build to Reid.

“Aaron!” Reid singsonged from the bathroom.

“Oh, I really hope this was research,” Hotch breathed as he cleared the history and shut down the laptop.

Once in the shower Hotch’s hopes turned out to be well founded. He was instructed to soap Reid up while avoiding his genitals. Reid did the same to him, but in reverse and Hotch soon found himself slick and being gyrated against. Reid danced slowly and sensually, his hips moving in ways Hotch had never imagined Reid capable of. His arse turned a circle against Hotch’s crotch while the young man’s arms moved above his head, fingers spreading and curling sensually. He slipped down, arching his back to tease his spine along Hotch’s bollocks and then rose back up with his spine arched the other direction to drag his body along the sensitive underside of the man’s shaft.

“Mmm,” Hotch hummed happily, sliding his hands over Reid’s hips and managing to grope his chest before he pushed his hand away.

“No touching the merchandise,” Reid teased.

“Oh, gods,” Hotch panted, loving the way he smiled teasingly around wet locks of hair, “You filthy boy.”

“Mmm,” Reid smirked, “Your filthy boy.”

“My filthy boy,” Hotch reiterated, “Shower sex always sounds fun, but it usually isn’t.”

“Then it’s a good thing we aren’t going to be having sex,” Reid winked at him, then grabbed the soap and began cleaning the rest of Hotch’s body.

Hotch got one of the best head rubs of his life in that shower, Reid enjoying him thoroughly. He got another quick dance as well and then they exited the shower, kissing as they dried each other off. Hotch was fucking Reid’s mouth with his tongue when Reid groaned and pulled away.

“We have to get packing.”

“The only packing I want to do is-“

“Stop,” Reid snickered, “That’s not nearly as sexy as it sounds in your head.”

“Sorry,” Hotch chuckled.

“Besides, I’m sore. You were fantastic, but that took it out of me.”

“You were so close to coming,” Hotch whispered, “Just let me…”

“Nope.”

Reid slithered away and got dressed. An hour later their team arrived in time to help them clean up after breakfast and start taking boxes down to the moving van JJ had picked up for them. Jack had a moment where he broke down and started crying, worried that their mother wouldn’t be able to find them when they moved, but before Hotch could intervene Spencer scooped him up and pulled him into a corner with the candle they lit to talk to Haley.

“I need you to help me talk to your mom, Jack,” Spencer told him.

“To tell her where we’re going?”

“Yeah,” Reid replied, “I have the address written down right here, and a map so we can relay her instructions.”

“What if she gets lost?” Jack sniffled.

“We’ll just light the candle and talk her through,” Reid told him with a warm smile as he spread out the map out of everyone’s walking path, “See, I’m a geographical profiler, so I know _everything_ about maps and the lands they’re sketches of.”

Hotch continued to move boxes, sure now that Jack was in good hands. When he came back upstairs they were still discussing the map but the candle had been blown out. It seemed Reid was explaining to Jack how to find his way around their new area, complete with instructions on where the police and fire stations were. Hotch left them to it and they were soon on their way to their new home.

Hotch hadn’t seen the place yet, in fact he hadn’t even looked at the listing, so the entire place was brand new to him as he walked in the doors. Reid went ahead so he could see Jack and Hotch’s faces light up at the sight of the fireplace.

“We can hang stockings!” Jack crowed, then ran off, “I’m going to find my room!”

“We get to pick which is yours!” Hotch called out, “And it’s _not_ the biggest!”

Reid laughed as he took Hotch’s hand and guided him through their new home, “There are three rooms. I figure the smallest can be our study. Kitchen is part of the living room, which is big enough to hold a dining table and it’s got that breakfast bar I _love_.”

“Of course,” Hotch chuckled. Reid had insisted that if it didn’t come with a breakfast bar he’d be buying something to replace the lack thereof.

“Then there’s the room off of the living room, that’s the study,” Reid pulled him over and opened the door to the small room, “And of course to the opposite side is our bedroom. Then you come down the hall, there’s the common bathroom, then Jack’s bedroom.”

“Now wait,” Hotch chuckled, pulling him back towards the living room, “I want to see _our_ bedroom.”

“Well… you might be disappointed,” Reid chuckled as Hotch tugged him back.

“Why’s that?”

“It’s not as big as you wanted,” Reid sighed sadly.

“I thought you were going to say ‘because it doesn’t have a bed in it yet’,” Hotch chuckled.

“Guys, we’re right here,” Morgan groaned.

“We’ll shut the door,” Reid grinned, and then pulled the door shut behind them.

Hotch laughed and tugged Reid against him for a hungry snog, but the young man pulled away and tugged on his hand, “You haven’t asked what’s behind door number one.”

“No way?” Hotch grinned broadly, “A master bath?”

“A master bath _with a Jacuzzi,”_ Reid pushed the door open and Hotch moaned at the sight.

“Oh, I love you so much.”

“Wait till you love me in a Jacuzzi!” Reid crowed.

“We can’t let our co-workers see this.”

“Oh shit, they’ll never leave!” Reid’s eyes widened in alarm.

“Shut the door, I’ll go get boxes to put in front of it,” Hotch hissed.

“You guys better not be ‘blessing’ this place already!” Rossi shouted, banging on the door, “We’re not dragging all these boxes upstairs ourselves!”

“Coming!” Reid shouted.

“Not like that!” Hotch shouted afterwards.

They ended up setting up their home far into the night and fell into bed, too exhausted to do more than throw an arm over each other before falling asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Hotch and Reid lay stretched out in the hot tub on their final day Reid between Hotch’s thighs with his head resting back on Hotch’s shoulder. The hot tub was triangular, just enough for two, maybe three people, with a shower stall beside it and the toilet across from that. Reid gave the clear shower stall a look that would have made Hotch jealous had it been another person.

“It’s day four,” Hotch purred, rubbing his hands over Reid’s chest.

“Mm, but I didn’t get to have fun with you on day three,” Reid whined half-heartedly.

“The shower, remember?”

“No,” Reid shook his head, “I only got to _tease_ you then.”

“You’ve been teasing me for three days,” Hotch reminded him, giving a nipple a pinch. Reid hissed and arched his back in desire, “Time for me to tease you.”

“I… I give up. I just want to come _so badly_ ,” Reid panted, tossing his head and pressing his head back.

“So what should I do? Hm? Tease you? Bring you to the brink and then make you hold off?”

Reid moaned and writhed a bit as Hotch’s hand moved down his body and then back up again. Hotch was already getting hard and Reid’s mewling and squirming was overcoming the effects of the heat. He was surprised how _alive_ he felt. He wasn’t sure if it was Reid’s version of therapy, or the new home, or just the fact he was finally starting to relax with his beloved. Whatever it was, he was petting Reid like a cat and the young man was purring beneath him. Reid whimpered, and wriggled, and tossed his head in frustration.

“Aaron!” Reid gasped, “Please. Hot!”

“Mm, yes you are,” Hotch chuckled, but he knew what Reid meant. It was hot in the Jacuzzi and the young man was writhing in pleasure. He’d overheat in no time and then the blood would flow right out of his cock.

Hotch took pity on Reid and wrapped his hand around the younger man’s cock. Reid gasped his name again, then began to moan softly over and again, hips pistoning up into Hotch’s hand. He’d meant to work him slowly, but Reid was frantic for release as he reached back with both hands to clutch at the back of Hotch’s head and fucked his hand. His moans turned to gasps and then he was pulsing in Hotch’s hand, the older man humming in pleasure as Reid went limp in his arms.

“Oh gods,” Reid panted.

“Mm, you called?” Hotch teased, earning him a weak chuckle.

“I needed that so badly,” Reid wheezed.

“Let’s get you out of here before you pass out on me,” Hotch chuckled.

“I love our new place,” Reid whimpered as Hotch shoved at his shoulders.

Reid climbed out and they both got into a warm shower, Reid happily dropping to his knees to give Hotch the attention he needed, but Hotch pulled him away.

“Later,” Hotch smirked, “I have plans for you tonight.”

“Mm, plans that involve me screaming your name, I hope.”

“I sure hope so,” Hotch replied, but Reid caught the anxiety in his voice.

“Aaron, you’ll be fine. Really,” Reid wrapped his arms around him, “There’s nothing you need to do besides love me. I mean it. These last few days have been sexy as _hell_ , and it can stay that way. We don’t have to explore the Kama Sutra, we just have to enjoy each other. Hasn’t this been enjoyable?”

“It’s been beautiful,” Hotch replied, “You’re gorgeous.”

“I’m skinny and-“

“Gorgeous.”

“I love you,” Reid settled, leaning in to kiss him slowly.

They stayed that way for a while, letting their bodies cool while just enjoying the company. Finally they separated, dried off, and headed into their new bedroom to sort through bags until they found their clothes. They dressed in companionable silence and then headed out to a breakfast of cereal since the kitchen hadn’t been unpacked yet. Jack was already out in the living room setting up the television himself. Hotch frowned at him, but since he wasn’t moving anything heavy he left the lad to it. He probably knew more about setting up a television than Hotch did anyway.

“So what are our plans for today? And do I have to move very much?” Reid asked, sitting down on their couch with a groan.

“You barely moved anything yesterday,” Hotch teased.

“I moved Jack. He needed me,” Reid argued.

Hotch smiled acknowledgement, “First thing first, I’m going to go down to the nearest coffee shop and get us some coffee because I can’t find the-“

Hotch froze. He’d forgotten and just like that the smile slid off of Reid’s face to be replaced by a haunted look.

“I’m sorry,” Hotch stated, “I’m really sorry, Spencer.”

Hotch moved closer to hold him, but Reid stood up, “I’ll go too.”

“You should stay here with Jack.”

“Jack will go with us,” Reid stated, his eyes still wide and vulnerable and his movements jerky, “Come on, Jack. Get dressed. I bet they’ll have scones and hot chocolate for you.”

“Cool!” Jack crowed, and bolted for his suitcase to dress.

“Spencer, I’ll just have tea.”

“I don’t know where the tea is either,” Reid replied, “Some boxes must have gotten crossed.”

“Spence.”

“Aaron, please,” Reid looked at him like a kicked puppy, “I don’t want to live like this anymore. New home. New relationship. New family. I want a damn cup of coffee.”

Hotch nodded, watching Reid bite his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. Hotch stepped forward and pulled him into a tight embrace, burying his face in damp hair and breathing in the scent of his beloved.

“I’ll be there. If you need to leave I’ll explain it to Jack. We’ll just go.”

Hotch entered first with Reid slowly walking in behind him, eyes darting around anxiously. He was wringing his hands as Jack stood beside him. Then Jack did one of those things that children seemed to instinctively do. He reached out and took hold of Reid’s elbow, smiling up at him sweetly.

“It’s okay, Spence. Like my dad always says, just call for back-up. I got your back and _no one_ messes with my dad’s partner.”

Reid smiled down at Jack and just like that the tension diffused a bit. Reid was still anxious, but he was also relieved to have them there. They headed to the counter where Hotch ordered for himself and Jack. Reid froze again once the barista looked over at him for his order. Reid stood there with a look of such abject fear on his face that the clerk looked over her shoulder and then asked him if he was okay. Hotch put his hand on the small of Reid’s back, ignoring the fact he startled.

“It’s okay. Order whatever you want. Get tea. You came in here, that’s a start.”

“Sumatra,” Reid forced out, “Hazelnut syrup. Um… extra pump… the… um…”

Hotch opened his mouth to finish Reid’s usual order but Jack intervened again, “Let him do it, dad. He’s just got butterflies, he’ll be fine.”

“Double sugar and whipped cream,” Reid spat out.

They chose a table but Reid paced by the window until their order was called. Hotch moved to pick it up and the woman balked, glancing over at Reid anxiously until he came over and took the cup himself. Reid glanced down at the name and a smile blossomed across his face that had Hotch grinning as well.

“They spell it right?” He asked, but Reid spoke to the clerk instead.

“Thank you,” Reid looked up at her, “But I’m okay. He’s not the reason I’m nervous. I’m just… going through some stuff. This helped, though. Thank you.”

Reid turned and showed Hotch the cup.

**_911 blink twice_ **

“You are a very brave, very kind person,” Hotch told her, glancing down at her nametag, “Casey, and I wish there were more like you out there. Thank you for that.”

Hotch reached into his wallet again and handed her a twenty before turning back and guiding his lover towards the prep station. Reid doused the sweet and sugary drink with creamer and then joined Jack at the table where he was playing a handheld game system.

“Why does he know where all his things are and we don’t?”

“We packed for him and tossed stuff in bags for us,” Reid chuckled, then took his first sip.

Hotch held his breath, but Reid let out a sigh of delight and smiled up at him with moist, loving eyes. Hotch reached out and took Reid’s hand, squeezing it gently.

“I’m proud of you,” Hotch told him, “Now can I keep _real_ coffee in the house?”

“Yeah,” Reid laughed, “As long as you buy the good stuff.”

“I always buy the good stuff,” Hotch scoffed.

Hotch reached into his pocket where a little blue box had been teasing him for days. Jack was watching him like a hawk, fully aware of what was in his father’s pocket. He froze every time Hotch reached into his pocket but he’d not spilled the beans despite the near-assault of Reid’s date. Hotch would be lying if he said he hadn’t been burning with jealousy in that moment. He’d have loved to see Jack brain the guy, but he wasn’t going to do that to an innocent man. He would _never_ ask Reid to date someone else again.

“You still haven’t told me what our plans are for our last day off,” Reid replied, “Please don’t say unpacking?”

“I was thinking a picnic, some relaxing music in the park, and a nice walk, toss a ball for a bit, followed by dinner at a nice restaurant, then home to relax in our gigantic tub again…”

“You’re never going to leave that tub, are you?”

“I’m going to miss it during cases,” Hotch chuckled.

Reid read books in the park while Hotch ran around with Jack and cooked up burgers on the park’s grill. Reid and Hotch sat in the shade while Jack played nearby with some new friends, Reid’s head pillowed in Hotch’s lap while he played with his hair. He kept debating when would be the right time to ask Reid. He had promised Jack that he could be present when he popped the question, but he had been planning on it being during dinner. Now that he had Reid here, sleepy and happy in his lap, he didn’t want to wait.

“Excuse me a second, Spence,” Reid shifted up and Hotch stood, heading over to Jack at a lop, “Hey, son. It’s time.”

“Now?!” Jack asked, practically screaming it in excitement.

“Yup, now.”

Jack bolted for the blanket and Reid looked up with an amused smile on his face, “Hey, Jackie.”

“Hey,” Jack stood there bouncing from foot to foot waiting for Hotch to catch up with him.

“Okay, Jack,” Hotch laughed, “Just like we practiced.”

“Practiced?” Reid asked, “Uh oh. What were you practicing?”

Jack got down on one knee, Hotch dropped down as well.

“Oh my gods,” Reid closed his book and sat up straighter as Hotch pulled the ring box from his pocket.

“I’ve been holding on to this for a bit,” Hotch told him as he opened it, “I wanted the moment to be perfect, and I can’t imagine a better one. Spencer Reid, will you marry us?”

“I mean, I knew you were going to ask,” Reid babbled, staring down at the ring, “At least I thought you were, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. It’s just I didn’t expect you and _Jack_ to ask, so I figured in a week or so, or at least after we’d successfully… uh… that is…”

“Spencer, my knee hurts,” Hotch laughed.

“Say yes! Say yes!” Jack pleaded, tugging on his arm.

“Yes! Of course!” Reid laughed, holding out his arms wide. Both Hotch and Jack flew forward for a hug, topping them all sideways onto the blanket. They came up laughing and Hotch pulled Reid in for a sweet kiss before slipping the ring on his finger.

“How much might I be getting my hopes up about this being part of the TARDIS ring set?”

“The other two are at our apartment,” Hotch chuckled.

“I’m not sure I could possibly love you more than I do now,” Reid sniffled, one hand over his mouth, “I’m spending way too much time in tears lately.”

“It’s okay, real men cry,” Jack told him, “Daddy cries sometimes. He cried when you left.”

Reid looked up at Hotch in surprise and he nodded with a sad smile, “I realized the second you were gone that I didn’t want to live without you. I just didn’t know how to handle that information.”

“Aaron,” Reid gripped his hand tightly, “I’m so glad you came to your senses.”

“I’m so glad you came back,” Hotch replied, “Now let’s get home, get changed, and go to dinner. I have reservations at a place that serves _snail_.”

“Ew!” Jack screamed, “I dare you to eat it, papa!”

“Papa?” Hotch snorted, “Since when do you call me that?”

“Not you, dad,” Jack replied with a grin, “Spencer’s papa.”

Then Jack stood up, grabbed his baseball, and ran for the car ahead of them. Spencer and Hotch stood there, watching their son run towards their vehicle with matching expressions of surprised joy.


	13. Chapter 13

Hotch dropped his keys into the bowl by their door and walked into their beautiful home. Jack was having a sleepover with a friend so they were both rather excited to actually be alone in the house. Sure enough, Reid was stretched out by the fireplace wearing only a pair of grey boxer briefs and a smile. Hotch felt his cock stir in his trousers as he toed off his shoes.

“Is that seriously a bearskin rug?” Hotch chuckled.

“ _That’s_ the first thing you say?” Reid asked in insult.

“Right,” Hotch pulled his jacket off and hung it up, “I’m really sorry I’m running late. I had a lot of paperwork and-“

“Aaron, stop,” Reid sat up, a frown on his face, “I _work with you_. I know what you were dealing with today. That’s why I offered to stay behind and help, remember?”

“And you’re mad I didn’t let-“

“No, I’m not mad at anything,” Reid frowned, “I was teasing when you walked in the door. I was waiting for you to comment on _me_ , not the rug.”

Hotch walked over and dropped down onto the thick rug with a sigh, “I’m sorry. I’m honestly just not sure how to compliment another man. You do look fantastic.”

“And _that’s_ how,” Reid smiled, lounging back down and propping his head up on his hand, “I know I’m not the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen-“

“That’s not what I want anyway.”

“-But I _do_ like to know you enjoy me in some way.”

“I more than enjoy you,” Hotch smiled softly, he leaned to one side and began to undress, “Let’s level the playing field a bit.”

Hotch was soon down to his boxers, and he stretched out on the rug to mirror Reid’s position, reaching out his hand and running it from ribcage to thigh and back up.

“These briefs are doing it for me,” Hotch chuckled, “I can’t believe it, but they really are.”

“Mm, like them?” Reid rolled onto his belly and bent his legs, posing like a model. Hotch had to swallow hard at the sight of Reid’s shaply ass outlined in the grey, taught material. He gripped it hard before he really had time to process what he was doing. Reid gasped and his hips lifted up eagerly.

“Did that hurt?” Hotch asked, releasing his fistful of fire-heated flesh.

“In a good way,” Reid purred, giving him a heated look over his shoulder.

Hotch growled in excitement and struggled out of his boxers. He pounced on Reid, straddling his thighs as he stretched down to cover Reid’s body with his own. Reid stretched out on the fur with his arms over his head. He turned his head to watch Hotch as the man rolled his hips. The texture of the briefs covering Reid’s hot flesh and the contrast of the silken fur beneath them was pounding through his nerve endings. Reid’s thin body was so delicate beneath his, and the dim lighting only excentuated the slim figure by dropping his masculine dips into shadow. The ridge of his spine and his broad shoulders were in stark relief, making Hotch want to worship them. He rubbed his cock between Reid’s arsecheeks for a moment and then moved down to lick at the juncture of his shoulder blades.

“Oh,” Reid groaned, “Aaron.”

“Mm,” Hotch agreed, moving down his body with hungry kisses, “How do I always start out bothered and then end up just feeling… _alive_ with you?”

“You’re…” Reid panted, doing his best not to wiggle, “Adjusting to the concept of a male lover. Your brain is moving past the social mores as your body responds more to stimuli than mating urge and… _fuck!_ ”

Hotch chuckled around his mouthful of briefs. He’d intentionally dragged his upper teeth along Reid’s flesh before biting the elastic band. Now he slowly dragged them down, Reid slowly lifting his hips and whimpering a bit as pale flesh, untouched by the sun, was revealed in the firelight. Hotch groaned as he caught a shadowy glimpse of Reid’s balls hiding in the juncture of his legs. He reached around and freed Reid’s straining cock from the front of the underwear, giving the tip a teasing stroke with his thumb that made Reid gasp and buck, and then tugged the underwear the rest of the way down with one hand. He left them just above Reid’s knees and moved up to nuzzle at the apex of his thighs, finding his sensitive orbs and nuzzling them lovingly.

“You shaved,” he spoke against the hairless flesh.

“I… I thought less hair might be… mmm… comforting.”

“You’re so damn sexy,” Hotch breathed, feeling them stir against his lips. He mouthed one orb, realized he’d never get them into his mouth this way, and kneeled up to tug the underwear the rest of the way off, “I need you, Spencer.”

“Yes,” Reid panted, spreading his legs eagerly and lifting his hips, “Please, Aaron!”

Hotch groaned at the sight. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought Reid might have removed the hair from around his asshole too. Hotch started in on his bollocks, suckling lightly and lapping at them as Reid whimpered and humped the air minutely. Hotch was curious enough to continue upwards, Reid’s dangling bits bumping his chin as he wriggled his tongue against Reid’s taint. The young man must have loved it because he let out a soft croon of pleasure. Hotch kept going, Reid’s scent strong but not unpleasant as he neared his goal.

“Oh my gods,” Reid gasped, realizing what Hotch was about to do.

Hotch smiled a bit and then ran his tongue around Reid’s furled pucker. Reid let out a strangled sound, his hips stilling as he willed his body not to thrust back against Hotch’s mouth. Hotch groaned and took two big fistfuls of Reid’s flesh into his hands, burying his face between Reid’s flesh. He had expected something unpleasant, but Reid was just Reid down here. His beautiful, passionate, brilliant fiancé.

Hotch found himself truly getting into what he was doing to Reid’s body, flicking his tongue, flattening it against his twitching pucker, and then spearing into Reid’s body with a powerful growl. His fears about this being emasculating were gone. Taking Reid in this way would be just as intense and satisfying as taking a woman.

Hotch pulled back, licking his lips as he stared down at Reid’s flexing entrance. He was opening up for him already! Hotch stuck his finger in his mouth and got it good and wet before slowly sliding it into Reid’s body. Reid let out a low groan, the muscles in his thighs clenching while he miraculously managed to keep his arse from doing the same. Hotch groaned at how tight and hot Reid felt inside and then slid his finger free. He gave Reid’s more open hole an anxious look, but there was still nothing alarming. It was just _sex_ and he suddenly felt foolish for being so anxious.

Hotch grinned and leaned down to press a kiss to Reid’s entrance, “Lube?”

Reid let out a full body shiver and fumbled for something over his head, passing back a tube of lubricant. Hotch squirted some out and began to open Reid up the way he’d seen the young man do in bed with toys. He worked Reid up to three fingers, careful o keep them ramrod straight, but Reid whimpered miserably beneath them.

“What am I doing wrong?”

“Curl your fingers. Just a bit,” Reid pleaded, his voice strained.

Hotch tried it and Reid just _melted_. He moaned deep and low, his hips moving in obvious desire as he rolled them and pressed back against Hotch’s hand.

“That is just… very rewarding,” Hotch groaned.

“P-prostate,” Reid gasped, “Male g-spot. P-spot. Good. _So good.”_

Hotch flexed his fingers and watched Reid fall apart in front of him. He gasped, writhed, and humped back on Hotch’s hand with obvious enthusiasm. Hotch’s cock throbbed angrily, wanting to be where his digits were. He slid his fingers free and Reid whimpered in need as Hotch slicked up his cock.

“C-condom?”

“Semen has naturally mood elevation chemicals in them that create a higher reward fact- _ohhh._ “

Hotch pressed the tip of his cock against Reid’s entrance until the tight ring opened up and swallowed him, leaving Hotch breathless as what almost felt like lips wrapped around the head of his cock. He had to still a moment just to catch his breath. The tight clench lessened and he slid further in with a low groan of pleasure. It felt like ages before he was fully seated in Reid’s body and once he was still he could feel his internal walls flexing and suckling at his cock.

“Fuck,” Hotch gasped, “Spencer. I’m not going to last long.”

“Mmm, this is so hot,” Reid moaned, “It’s like we’re _both_ loosing our virginity.”

Hotch chuckled a bit despite himself. The idea of him being a virgin after years of marriage to Haley… and yet it _was_ similar. He and Reid were sharing something profoundly new to both of them. Reid had never had a lover inside of his body like this and Hotch had never tried anal with Haley.

Hotch moaned softly, pulling free and then pressing slowly back inside of Reid. His anxiety was virtually nonexistent now and a sense of freedom and excitement flowed through him. _This_ was what he’d been missing with Reid! A freedom to simply enjoy the pleasure he could wring from both their bodies. Hotch spent a few thrusts just enjoying the sight of Reid’s body jolting beneath him with each thrust and then let his head fall back as he smiled in pleasure.

“Aaron,” Reid whimpered, “My spot. You shifted up… down! _Down!_ ”

Hotch lifted his head and leaned forward quickly so he could give Reid what he needed. Reid’s reaction was instantaneous. He began to thrust back against Hotch, gasping in obvious pleasure. Hotch laid himself across Reid’s body, wrapping one arm around his torso to tease his nipples as he kissed Reid’s shoulder.

“I love you,” Hotch gasped.

“Aaron,” Reid panted, “I’m so close. Pull out. I want to see you.”

Hotch was confused but he did as he was told anyway, leaning back on his heels and panting in need. Reid rolled over, his cock hard against his belly and his bollocks high but still loose. He lifted his thighs by gripping under his knees.

“Hold one leg for me, I’ve got the other.”

Hotch hurried to obey, gripping under one knee and leaning on one arm. Reid guided him back inside and Hotch groaned in relief as he sank into Reid’s body with a satisfying squelch. Once seated again he lost all control. It just felt _too_ good to be surrounded by that tight heat and he began to thrust fast and hard into his responsive lover. Reid’s cries of pleasure spurred him on and he felt a tight curl of pleasure begin in his bollocks, tightening his belly, and then he shouted out his release as he pulsed into Reid’s body. For a few seconds all that he felt was pounding gratification, his body taut as his orgasm washed over him. Then he felt that instant, euphoric calm descend. He lowered his eyes and found Reid beneath him, pumping his cock fast as he chased his own release with a tortured expression. Hotch was still mostly hard so he tried to shift and stimulate his prostate despite how oversensitive he felt. Reid gasped and Hotch took him in hand, giving his wrist an expert turn that caused Reid’s eyes to roll back in his head. Hotch groaned as Reid’s muscles clenched around him, but it was well worth it to see Reid painting his body with his come. The young man shook through his climax and then released his leg and simply went limp. Hotch lowered Reid’s other leg and slid free, his cock twitching as it tried to figure out if it was done or not.

Hotch pressed a quick kiss to Reid’s damp forehead and stood up on wobbling and creaking legs to head to the bathroom. He washed himself up and then dampened a rag with warm water and headed back to where Reid was relaxed on the rug. He’d stuffed his underwear under his bottom to stop himself from leaking on their fur. Hotch smiled as he knelt down and began to gently clean Reid’s splattered body. That was when the emotions whelled up, as they often did during or after making love. He closed his eyes a moment, fighting back the tears that wanted to flow. Reid’s hand caressed his cheek and he looked down at tired, loving eyes.

“You were wonderful,” Reid whispered, “Everything I wanted.”

“I’m glad,” Hotch replied, his voice cracking, “Haley used to say I get so emotional after sex because I never let it out in between.”

“That’s okay,” Reid replied, “I don’t mind. I think it’s beautiful. I love seeing you like this. It’s like you’re naked for me twice, first your body and then your soul.”

Hotch finished cleaning off Reid’s chest and stomach and laid down on him, laying his head on Reid’s shoulder to let his emotions overwhelm him. Reid ran his fingers through Hotch’s hair, humming tunelessly as he held him through his tears.

“My wonderful future husband,” Reid whispered, “You never have to be afraid to let yourself go in front of me. I will _always_ hold you. Always.”


End file.
